Help - fussy 2 year old

[noahsolloway]

My 2 year old DD has me at the end of my tether with what to feed her. She has always been fussy - right from the start of weaning. I have a 6 year old DD who eats normally, so I am reasonably sure it's not how we weaned her!

Current list of foods:
Pasta - sometimes with sauce, but more often not
cucumber,
Fruit - pretty good on fruit.
No veg.
No meat or fish that doesn't have a breadcrumb coating on it..
chicken nuggets.
Occasionally fish fingers
Occasionally bolognese - but more often than not it's a no
Baked beans
Philidelphia sandwiches
Yoghurt
pancakes
Chips/waffles - sometimes
Cakes, crisps, biscuits, sweets - all fine

She is very stubborn. If she doesn't like it/doesn't want to eat, she will not eat, even if she is hungry, just leading to tantrums later.
We have done the whole eating together at mealtimes and giving her the same as everyone else including bits I know she will like, but it doesn't work. She won't try anything else.

Any suggestions of either foods to try or strategies to get her to at least try new things would be gratefully received...

[TeddyIsaHe]

Dd is like this at the moment. I’ve found just popping her plate down in front of her and then completely ignoring her in regards to eating (I still chat with her etc, but don’t look at/mention food) is working very slowly. If she doesn’t eat whatever, I don’t comment, just take the plate away. If she’s hungry I offer a healthy snack but no treat food at all. I don’t eat anything like that in front of her and put it all away hidden so she can’t see it.
It is working for us. She knows she won’t get anything else, but I’m not making a huge issue out of it. Slowly she’s starting to be less fussy. I think at 2 it’s a control thing and pushing boundaries, so you just can’t rise to it, then they know they’ve got you!

[noahsolloway]

Thanks Teddy , I do the same re watching out of the corner of my eye what she is eating. Sometimes distracting with TV works. Sometimes it doesn't!
I think she genuinely is fussy (I am a bit of a fussy eater and always have been, so I do understand it a bit), but totally agree, there is an element of control to her behaviour too. I have tried not to make it an issue as you are totally right, she will play up to it every time.

[Mesmeri]

Love what TeddyIsaHe says. My 2 year old is doing this stage too. (Would prefer to eat only meat, fruit or desert). I've been trying to do something similar and it seems to be working (some days better than others obviously).

[SheepyFun]

I also have a very fussy child - she's almost 6, and can't eat all the things on that list, though she will eat broccoli, so that's one veg. At 2 she mainly consumed milk - she was also very unenthusiastic about weaning.

What helped me was choosing to be less stressed about it, and to use convenience food at least some of the time - I was a lot less frustrated when she refused something I'd bought than something I'd spent hours making.

Do you think your DD is getting enough vitamins and minerals? If not, some form of multivitamin would be good (we used toddler formula rather than cows milk partly to get vitamins into our DD). Our DD will also (still) eat puree - I buy the Ella's kitchen ones. For our DD, the major issue is texture, so a good range of purees are fine, but the intact vegetable isn't.

Have you tried pizza? That's been a win for us. DD will also eat sausages and salmon (not together!). But nothing in a sauce. Eating with others will probably help long term, but it will take quite a while - our DD ate nothing at all for the first 6 months at nursery; she went when she was 3 (and only until 1pm, so we could feed her once she was home). It got slightly better after that - by the time she went to school, she'd usually eat something, but often just the rice (for example).

DD is happy to eat strawberries and broccoli every day. So she has them (nearly) every day - at 2, she was quite happy eating the same thing every day. I like variety, but decided that was a battle I didn't need to fight with her. She is very fussy about how 'acceptable' food is prepared, so strawberries have to be cut in half, cucumber has to be peeled. I run with it - again, a battle I've chosen to avoid.

Not sure how helpful that essay is, but you are not alone!

[Mesmeri]

Ps, this week he's suddenly decided he likes risotto with prawns and broccoli, which is a massive experimental step forward for him. Might have to make it every day though.....

[noahsolloway]

Thanks Sheepy ,
I give her a multivitamin (Wellbaby liquid) every night. She totally refused to take a bottle, so has never been a big milk drinker (apart from breast milk).
She won't touch pizza. I would love her to have salmon, but that's a no no too.
She's been at pre-school since Sept and has a packed lunch. I try to mix it up a bit, but it's basically the same thing as I want to make sure she eats something! Philly sandwich, yoghurt (given the lack of milk), fruit and some kind of snack - sometimes breakfast biscuits, or those pea snacks that are like crisps. Like you, I am picking my battles!

[noahsolloway]

Mesmeri risotto with prawns and broccoli is awesome for a fussy eater!! You're clearly doing something right

[kateandme]

asking her to help.i no she cant do much at this age.but choice.so
"what colour veg tonight"
"ooh can you help mummy stir"
wit ha questioning face "hmmm not sure this is right will you tell me if you think its allright"
at the shops too say she gets to choose what to have.or get her to do a supermarket sweep and choose a meat and veg.
lucky dip of veggies.
roasting veg worked wonders.
does she like sausges.we do a great sausage and bean bake which she loved.
eggs?scrambled boiled.in sandwhiches etc.
if she likes fruit could you cook some nice pudding with her.
so its not just getting food out at meal times where she struggles but teaching her the fun of food by making some little crubmles or fruit tarts or sponges.
ask her opinion."so I want to try something new with (food she likes)what do you think would go with it.and be enthusiastic.
ours loved the control or being adult-ee by thinking she was making deiciosn therefore was more curious to try it.
baking together.just bringing food into her life as being fun and lovely so its again not all about associating it with the time she struggles.
what about rice stuffed peppers.
there are loads of great rice on pots which was great for ours.
they always say too that at this age things are gorwing and changing and so tastebuds are adjusting.so never don't try anything more than twice.leave a few weeks then try again.
intead of saying eat this etc change how you put things so we would say we saw this today and thought wed try it.not you must eat or this is ur tea.
would she like cheesy pasta.
if she likes breadcrumb tops what about pasta bake with breadcrumb top.
similar doing with a shephard pie with bolognase base.
or fish cakes.
I know its old school but have you tried the splitting it in half or thirds or whatever and say ok you can get down when you eat this.yes its sort of forcing but its can be done kindly and you no when this wont work.but its a way of getting them to have it and the taste buds do ajust and it take her control and choice away so she doesn't just react and say nope not having it if its not her choice to say no and she must actually have some of it.