Ive totally lost my cooking mojo, please advise.(19 Posts)
I'm not entirely sure whether this post should be on relationships or here, I think this is a better fit...
A bit of background. I'm in my early 40s, with no children but a DH.
As a child I never cooked, my mum tried to encourage me but I had no interest. My plan was to either have a microwave or find a husband who could cook. I moved out in my early twenties and found that I had to cook haha! I started off using lots of chicken tonight things thrown in the oven, but progressed to using the bbc good food mag, Nigella etc I had dinner parties, cooked Christmas dinner, baked was seen as a good cook by friends and family.
A change in personal circumstances in my 30s meant I relied on m&s food or very simple cooking, I never cooked properly, I missed it.
Forward to now. I have a part time job so the time to cook, but a very fussy husband who seems to prefer things that can be thrown in the oven and pretty much on chicken.
This has culminated in tonight me getting very upset and him buying some nasty japanese from m&s at the station, that he's not eating as he's asleep and I don't want to eat, because I'd rather cook from fresh.
But I just feel that everything I cook is no good.
Please tell me where to start again with cooking???? (The husband has to stay ;) )
I'm not sure I can help, but I'll try
It's very hard to make a big difference all at once in a situation like this, so why don't you aim to try to make two new meals each week? Go to a library and borrow new books for inspiration.
The cookery book club on here is a bit dormant at the moment but in the past we have loved various Nigella books, Jerusalem (Ottolenghi), every grain of rice (Chinese), Mexican made simple.... Have a search
Also, can your part time working mean that you can cook for yourself eg at lunchtime? I'm a sahm, DH is fussy, so I tend to make myself something I want once or twice a week for lunch, means I get to cook and eat food I love without having to cater for dh's whims
A cookery book club would be right up my street what a shame it's dormant.
Yes I can cook what I want for lunch but I think it's the dinner thing that's causing me the most upset (maybe why this should be on the relationship forum) I guess ultimately I feel like I'm not doing my bit, or something.
I think meal planning is the answer (so your husband agrees in advance). If he wants to eat ready meals then I would batch cook for yourself and it over a couple of nights and freeze some.
I feel for you because a fussy eater can make you loose your baking confidence.
I have a bookcase next to my favourite sofa with all my cookbooks on and when I feel like you do (which I do at the moment) I flick through them all and eventually I come across something I think yeah - I'd like to cook that. At the same time keep your laptop there and do a food delivery order and write a list of what recipes you have the ingredients for and when you will cook them.
I find the very first few Jamie Oliver books to be the best as they are so much more simple than his most recent and seem really different still. I haven't cooked from Hemsley Hemsley yet but their recipes look brilliant and some of them really simple like DIY pot noodles in a mason jar with rice noodles and veggies that can be taken to work. If you like veggie I just bought a book called Thug Kitchen which has a lot of swearing in but the recipes look amazing!!!!
If he has no allergies I think I would make things I loved in this situation and treat his pickiness in the same way you would a toddler: fine if you don't want to eat it but all you're getting after that is some bread and a banana! He may well have just not had much exposure to a variety of food and if he doesn't like it at least you are enjoying it! My husband never has an idea or interest in meal planning so it's get what you're given and make grateful noises in our house! I am also in a rut so if someone wants to start an inspirational dinner thread I would be up for joining! Must be some food blog we could follow or just once a day someone links to something good.
strawberry I live very close to a supermarket so I tend to buy on a daily basis rather than doing a big shop. But maybe this is part of the problem, as I ask dh what he wants each day (take away or he doesn't know yet... So grabs something on his way home), maybe I should take control...
I have the early Jamie books so will take a look.
theoddity this could be it! his favs are all nursery type foods! pasta, nuggets and chips, lasagne etc.
I just feel sick and lacking in energy eating his favs...
He wouldn't be interested in meal planning he is too busy with work and stuff.
i would strongly recommend watching some foodie/cooking vids. Not only do they teach you a lot, but they really give you inspiration.
Definitely take control, we get into these ruts all the time and DH starts bringing home rubbish food and takeaway...he could just carry on doing it but we're both much happier when I just organise the food and cook it.
Funny my DH's faves are lasagna, moussaka, spaghetti bolognese etc and it can get very very heavy!
I've just ordered some rocket, mozzarella, parma ham and mint for a lunchtime salad tomorrow
nicked borrowed some weight watchers books from my mum and I find the recipes in them really simple to follow. Huge variety and if you aren't dieting just use full fat where they suggest low fat etc.
I am just trying to get out of my own chilli/pasta/sausages rut so I picked a few recipes (not too many so I am not overwhelmed) and added the ingredients to my usual online shop. When it arrived I bagged it all up, according to recipe and bunged it in the fridge, tins and all, ready to cook. DH actually ended up starting tea tonight because I was busy, and he never cooks but because it was all there he could get going.
DP is quite similar in that he sticks to what he knows, whereas I'm more adventurous and feel very sluggish if I just eat his favourite meals.
The Hairy Dieters book is quite good in that it has "blokey" type meals cooked in a healthier way. When DP cooks, he normally picks something out of that, and I just add more salad/veg to my plate.
I also only meal plan for 2 days and shop 3x a week. It means that we can be a bit more flexible and fit the meals to what we feel like/what the weather is like.
What about a magazine subscription? I had a year of BBC Good Food. I was always inspired flicking through it, the recipes are seasonal, there is always a 2 person supper section and DH used to like looking through it too.
List thge things you both like then list what you like separately. Bulk cook what he likes - give him that when you want grown up fgood.
My dh is having battered fish tonight, as he doesn't eat chilli that I'm having.
I recommend the Jamie Oliver Ministry of Food if you don't already have it.
It's really very easy to follow and you don't need 100's of bits of kit. It also has lots of homely recipes in it that your hubby will recognise and probably enjoy.
I usually chuck this and jamies dinners at my dp and dd when we are in a bit of a rut. I get them to tell me what they want to eat for the week.
Also I sometimes pick an soup or pasta dish out and do that for.my.lunch. they aren't big soup eaters so I will have it for myself.
Thanks for the suggestions ladies. I'm cooking a simple pasta dish from an old bbc good food I found and a bean dip thingy.
Off to the supermarket to grab supplies now!
It can be completely miserable trying to cater for someone else's limited tastes, especially when it limits your own. I can absolutely understand how this has sucked the joy out of it for you. Has he always been like that? You feel that everything you cook is no good? Is he that rude? If it were me, I think i'd lay down the law about being grateful for what he gets, you're not his mum, he can cook for himself etc...
I agree with another poster above who says to cook what you want and love. He can chuck some chicken nuggets in the oven if he wants. You could switch it up so that you cook what you want some days and he cooks what he prefers others...whatever. But don't pander to his infantile palette to the expense of your own.
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