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Just found out my SO used steroids...(4 Posts)
I don't ever use online forums, but needed to vent and maybe hear other perspectives and seeing as the topic isn't one I'd like to go to family about, here I am. I'll try not to ramble.
My SO and I have been together for about 2 years, but have been best friends for at least 4. I know more than I should about him because of this, but so far it's made us pretty strong. I knew he used to use, but was under the impression that he hasn't since being with him. Two days ago he told me he needed to go out of town to pick up "supplements". The way he said it made me feel he was tip toeing around something and it didn't sit well with me. So I pushed the topic and he fessed up about using steroids. I asked why he wants to use them and he explained it helps motivate him and he likes the results. It's absolutely disgusting to me and a huge turn off.. I felt so oblivious and sort of deceived because we pride ourselves on being open with each other about things.. I feel he knew it would upset me so he kept it hushed.. which makes me wonder what else he's done that with. He used to be into some drugs, drank heavily, and doesn't have a good rep when it comes to loyalty, but he swears things with us have been different, which I can see for the most part.
Anyway, he tried explaining how it's not that big of a deal if he uses it in cycles and how it isn't as bad as media makes it out to be. Okay, I can understand that a little, but I'm also not dumb and know they aren't healthy. I'm so disappointed because I thought the one healthy thing he actually does for himself was just that, healthy. Now I feel like he's just a cheat with that, but worse I worry about his health and our future.
He has 2 older kids and has already had a vasectomy years before we met, but I want to have a child of my own. He has known this and we've sorta just let it be because I have been told before I may not be able to have children because I have issues with cysts (need a second and third opinion). Well, he brought it up just last week and very seriously and openly told me that when I am ready he will be there to support me no matter how I want to go about it.. adoption, artificial, or reversal.. which he knows I'd prefer trying reversal before anything just because I'd love the idea of having that connection with him. He even started researching prices and success rates.. it gave me a feeling of comfort and adoration I never felt before. I was on a high for a couple days thinking I have a chance of having my own baby with this man that is absolutely amazing to me.
But finding out about these steroids has flipped some sort of switch in me. I know he's "fixed" right now, but I know they aren't good for anyone's health.. then what happens when I decide to try at pregnancy? It's already going to be difficult because of my issues and the reversal deal.. I just feel like I crashed from that high. That what he said and what he is doing are contradicting.
I've tried seeing his side, I've researched and have tried educating myself more.. but nothing has really helped me feel like I can come to a compromise on this.
His health means everything to me.. I'm just not sure how to approach it all.
I think you would both be better off leaving these men and finding someone suitable to have DC with. Do you really want to tie yourself and your children to men who use dangerous substances and lie to you about it? You would be so much better off without them, they are not good father material
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