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Extra-curriculars to make friends?

(8 Posts)
tricot39 Wed 17-Jul-13 23:47:41

She may be a social butterfly but breaking into established groups isn't easy. Could you try helping her to arrange play dates in one to one or smaller settings. Is she asking those who dont share any interests but might be the most popular girls? Sometimes steering them towards a more compatible friend might help?

LittleSporksBigSpork Tue 16-Jul-13 20:46:46

Thanks for the recommendations! Particularly choirs, hadn't thought of that, and have managed to find one in the city centre for when she turns 7.

FranKatzenjammer Tue 16-Jul-13 16:27:33

Choirs are great for making friends- is there a local one she could join in September?

stealthsquiggle Tue 16-Jul-13 16:15:49

Aah . The church thing could well be key - the others just have more in common with each other than they DD. We had that problem with beavers (everyone else was at the same school, DS was inevitably the odd one out).

Trouble is, if you go further afield then she will be the odd one out for geographical reasons.

Could you not focus on building some school friendships for a while?

LittleSporksBigSpork Tue 16-Jul-13 16:10:44

I've asked, all the adults say she plays nicely, joins in well, and have seen no problems between her and the other kids. Maybe I just have mummy-eyes or something, the only advice I've gotten is that maybe she just needs a different group to fit in better and my partner has raised the point that most of the girls' she's trying to socialize with also all go to the same church, other than that, she seems like all the other kids. Most of the groups seem connected to that though so I'm brainstorming for ideas on things away from it and it's been harder than it seems - she's in a no-girl's land of being too old for somethings and too-young for others, very little for the 6-7 year olds around here it seems that aren't attached to the church (a very large Catholic one, unsurprisingly connects to a lot of the good secondaries as well).

I never thought my social butterfly would find it so hard, it's hard not to blame myself. sad. I've now filled up our summer calendar with local events hoping to help her feel better and meet people (as all groups around here shut down then anyway) but regular activities with actual friends would do her a lot of good.

I wonder if it possible for her to move to another Rainbow group, in another part of the city away from the church, she likes the activities, but I'm starting to think my partner is right about it. Or I'm just in emotional overload about this.

stealthsquiggle Tue 16-Jul-13 15:37:49

Do you have any ideas why she is the odd one out? I would say ideally something team based (like football) but if there is an underlying problem then it might just end up being somewhere else that she is left out sad.

Sparklymommy Tue 16-Jul-13 15:34:34

Ballet? Drama club?

LittleSporksBigSpork Tue 16-Jul-13 15:28:51

What after-school groups are good for making friends?

Not very short background: My 6 year old DD1 could really use a new group activity. She's an extrovert, loves people and friends, but is having a lot problems making friends here. She plays nicely with everyone, but even at our local Rainbows, she's painfully the odd one out and it's really getting to her that she doesn't have friends who are willing to come over (all of her invites have been rejected or ignored). She begged me for a haircut this last week, then found out she's hoping it will make the girls' like her more if her hair is like theirs. We're trying Woodcraft Folks, but it's a fairly new group with mostly older kids and meets once a fortnight. Trying to not have too high of hopes for it and hoping for some more ideas here for her.

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