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DD doesn't want me to go to a meeting at class

(20 Posts)
KatyMac Wed 03-Oct-12 07:41:49

Because I will make a fuss (true) & get upset (true) & I'm embarrassing (possibly true - she is nearly 15)

It's about her conditional place at the school & what she needs to work on.

Should I let her go by herself?

SlightlySuperiorPeasant Wed 03-Oct-12 10:50:50

Yes you do sound embarrassing! Why would you get upset and make a fuss?

AMumInScotland Wed 03-Oct-12 10:56:17

Do you trust her to take this seriously? To listen to what she is told, ask appropriate questions, come away with a clear idea of what she needs to do?

If so, and if you going along wouldn't improve any of that significantly, then I'd say let her go on her own.

She's quite a mature and motivated child from what I can recall of you mentioning things before, so I think you should let her do it her own way, and show that you trust her.

SheelaNeGig Wed 03-Oct-12 11:00:23

Can you negotiate acceptable questions and promise not to weep or swear?

KatyMac Wed 03-Oct-12 11:01:57

I am, because I think the school have treated her badly and that she should give up.

I think she can do it; I hope she can do it

AMumInScotland Wed 03-Oct-12 11:11:42

Then I think you should let her go alone. She knows that if she gets fed up, you'll support her leaving. But she isn't choosing to do that (yet) so she needs to talk it through with the school and reach her own conclusions.

It's tricky when you think they're making the wrong decision, but if this was her dream then only she can decide that it's not working out.

KatyMac Wed 03-Oct-12 11:30:14

I guess, she has offered to take someone else's mum or her teacher; I wonder if they will go with that

KatyMac Wed 03-Oct-12 19:40:38

She is going by herself

BeckAndCall Thu 04-Oct-12 06:42:22

Is this her ballroom school, Katy?

She can always go on her own and then if you think she didn't get all the information she needed, then you can follow up.

She may have been badly treated, it's a cutthroat kind of business in the dance world, as we both know, but I'd suggest staying calm - what's done is done and you can't change the principal's mind by shouting or get upset (I'm guessing this is a partners issue?)

(I was 'gettingalifenow' before name changing a while back, so we've chatted before)

KatyMac Thu 04-Oct-12 07:42:55

It's Ballet school; they keep saying if she works hard they will move her up. Then they tell her she has worked hard but they won't move her up 'this time' & they've done it 5 or 6 times over the last year

BeckAndCall Thu 04-Oct-12 08:50:49

But do your classes not go with grades - or is she passed the grades stage now? If she's phased the exam, does she not move up?

KatyMac Thu 04-Oct-12 18:03:39

This is a CAT & it's ungraded work.

It's the falseness of it that annoys me; if they said 'You are staying where you are' I wouldn't be happy but I'd understand - but the false promises? That's cruel

NatashaBee Thu 04-Oct-12 18:35:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KatyMac Thu 04-Oct-12 20:14:40

Actually she has written one herself - I only added 1 word!!

She is turning into her mother!!!

KatyMac Sat 06-Oct-12 19:16:14

She has been given 4 targets (not very SMART imo, but....)

1) Improve her turnout over her whole leg
2) Sit with the rest of the class at break/snack times
3) Improve her enthusiasm & confidence
4) Improve her leg flexibility

So we have no time scales (well "over the year") & nothing very specific

I think 2 is unfair she is up to 4 yrs older than then & she reads/does GCSE work at break times & 3 is just astounding, as she embodied those words!!

RedHelenB Mon 15-Oct-12 10:42:04

Turnout is crucial in ballet as is flexibility. I would imagine the others have been doing ballet for longer & so there will be the need to "catch up"/ Not sure about 2, maybe they feel that she could learn some tips from them?

KatyMac Mon 15-Oct-12 22:42:54

Thanks RedHelenB, I think it's difficult if you are working on your GCSEs to be socialising with children doing their SATs on anything but a very superficial level

I sent in a letter and they have taken my letter as 'grievances' rather than the concerns they were

RedHelenB Tue 16-Oct-12 08:16:03

I know at my dds dance classes the "hanging around" time is often spent practising, getting people to show how to etc & maybe that is why they want more socialising? Maybe they are concerned she is feeling a bit discouraged with beinbg the eldest?

RedHelenB Tue 16-Oct-12 08:19:17

Plus being older she could probably help them too. All age groups socialise at dd's dancing & the little ones love the big ones helping them & showing an interest in them.

KatyMac Wed 17-Oct-12 21:53:45

She's been doing that for a year & she is a bit fed up now

Ah well they arranged an interview 'to come & chat' for me at less than 24hrs notice; I was away & so I didn't even get the email until 2 days later.......so I am not flavour of the month I guess

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