Shall I record my ex

[WrappedinHaze]

My partner of 15 years broke up with me. We are still living together for next three months due to financial arrangements. Two weeks in the break up he went for drinks with a new Co worker and they clicked. They went on another date and told everyone in the office they are an official couple. In the meantime my ex is acting like my best friend (he is my best friend btw). We often fall asleep cuddled in. He says that he still loves me and will help me.

He told me that they are just dating. Recently he's acting strange. He said that he's afraid that I may physically hurt him (!!!?). I was shocked, I asked him where did it come from as I've never been violent in my whole life. Later that night I broke down and couldnt stop crying in front of him. I thought I'll have to call an ambulance. It was after he said that there's no chance of us getting back together. The finality of it struck me. When I compose myself I apologised and asked him to not to tell anyone how I humiliated myself.

He keeps saying that he's still my best friend so we'd chill and watch movies together. During one of those he fell asleep with his Facebook opened and their chat message open. After just two dates (and I know for sure they weren't seeing each other before as she's new) they tell each other they are in love. She begs him to not to leave her ever and he promises he won't. Additionally it was her who suggested that I may hurt him physically. He also almost live stream to her my mental breakdown. Nothing offensive and I only asked him to not to do it afterwards but when asked whether he told anyone he vehemently denied it.

Next week she's coming round to chill with him when I'm not around. I want to know what he really says about me when I'm not around so maybe it will help me to move on and stop like after him and the love we shared that he constantly mentions that he feels towards me acting hit and cold.

He acts like such a noble man and this threw a shade over his persona. I always believed him to tell the truth and now I'm wondering how many times he lied to me before? I've never done this before but all is fair in love and war or not?

[Didshereally]

Ethically no, you can't record him - their private conversation- whilst you are out

Tbh you already know he is telling nasty stories about you. He's being manipulative. He's not your best friend nor even your friend now.
He's a liar

Shut down these cuddles and him playing you for a fool

Go out and find new friends , honest people and eventually a new partner. Leave this loser to someone else who enjoys fake drama
He isn't the man you knew, he changed. I don't think you like who he is now.

[biggirlknickers]

“He acts like such a noble man”

But he isn’t, is he? He’s flaunting his new girlfriend under your nose while you are struggling to cope this his rejection of you. He is keeping you dangling with cuddles and “love” while telling you you’re mentally unstable (“you might hurt me”).

He is cruel and selfish.

Do you really have to live together for 3 months? Can’t you get out / get him out tomorrow? Stay with a friend / family member?

And no, I definitely wouldn’t record them. Leave them to it (he will do the same to her eventually) and look after yourself.

[biggirlknickers]

Recording them will feed into their fictional and convenient narrative of you as the crazy ex.

[isitpossibleto]

What an absolute prick.

Don’t bother recording - do not put yourself through that anguish. This man is toying with you and enjoying it. He’s a selfish, arrogant, manipulative liar and I’m sorry but I think this has been going on longer than you know.

Leave. And don’t look back, would be my advice.

[biggirlknickers]

Are you ok OP?

[FawnDrench]

Try and focus yourself on looking after you, and getting out of the relationship with as little emotional scarring as you can.
It's not healthy to dwell so much on his new friend - you are the priority now.

Can you talk to other supportive friends and meet up with them, do other things, change your routine etc. so that you're not churning everything over in your mind all the time.