My parents have started talking about their wills. In one way I don't want to know/think about it but I also realise, these are important conversations to have.
I have a sibling who I shall call the prodigal (PG) because of going months at a time without speaking to the rest of the family out of laziness rather than argument. PG has very little to do with our parents and all of the contact and day to day help are down to me even though we live a similar distance away. I don't begrudge this. They are my parents and it's not a big deal to mow the lawn, put things in the loft, pop in for a cup of tea at the weekend, etc for them. They are not yet at the stage of needing care but just need help with the bigger jobs and enjoy having company.
Our parents want to do the right thing and split and any inheritance 50:50 between us. Fine by me. However this is making them really stressed as PG is quite materialistic and has, in the past, been dishonest with money. PG also earns a lot (think offshore account levels) while my parents and I have had fairly average incomes.
They would really rather not leave PG half of everything as they are likely be very demanding when it comes to wanting 'their share' and I will be the executor. PG has also made my parents feel uncomfortable by going through their things and asking about finances. It's hard to describe but PG acts in an avaricious way which makes my parents feel unsettled after they have visited (which is maybe 3-4 times a year).
However their sense of fairness is overriding their gut instinct of not wanting to do a 50:50 split.
So my question is, has anyone been in a similar situation and how have you handled it? I feel that my options are:
- Don't say anything. It is their money and entirely their decision.
- Encourage them to do a 50:50 split if they think this is the right thing and downplay how difficult my sibling might be to me as the executor.
- Encourage them to follow their gut instinct and do something else - perhaps leaving £xx to each of us and the rest to charity.
- I don't think I could encourage them to leave more to me and less to my sibling even though I think this is really what they want to do. It feels unethical even though any inheritance (from a house sale) would make a huge difference to me and my family and be less than a few bonuses for my sibling.
Thanks for getting to the end!