Tricksy Sister in Law

[Emu1969]

My sister in law is quite far down the line in the adoption process. However, a few months back, she accepted a job in Asia. She hasn't told the authority she was going to adopt with in the hope that she'll get approved as an adopter then can move the approval over to the country she's moving to.

She's at the stage where they're setting up matching events and interviewing family. Her brother has pulled out of an interview as he works for the same authority and doesn't want to lie to them about her plans. Now my wife- her sister faces the same dilemma as they want to see her sister interact with our son. She doesn't work for the authority but feels very awkward about things, knowing that her sister is holding back info. I feel it's ethically dodgy too- as we know that they'll be thinking about potential kids that might suit her, when she has no intention of adopting in the uk. Throw into the mix that sis in law is very tricksy and will almost certainly take
Offence if this is raised. What would you do??

[pillowaddict]

It's a completely different process to adopt internationally - even if she was moving to another local authority in UK the process would need to start again before approval or placement so she needs to inform them NOW before any more time is wasted on everyone's part! I think your wife is best placed to inform her and explain she read up on it or something. It's such a difficult, and expensive, process I don't see that she'd want to go through it twice. Perhaps it's not the right time for her if she's prioritising a move and career change - particularly if she's a single adopter she will be expected to take a significant period of Adoption leave to allow time for funnelling and attachments to form in the early days.