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Do you feel out of your depth with your job??

(22 Posts)
CaramelisedOnions Sun 14-Jun-09 11:39:12

I do.

Just started a new job one month ago after leaving another job where I was struggling (no training) and find myself in a similar position.

Just wanted to know if this is a generally accepted feeling or do all of you working mums feel on top of/in control of your work?


cornsilk Sun 14-Jun-09 11:43:03

Why do you feel out of depth? Is it because you have too much to do or the nature of the job itself?

CaramelisedOnions Sun 14-Jun-09 11:47:43

It's the nature of the work I think. I have all the qualifications to do the work but not the experience (law based) and feel that my boss expects too much.

I have asked for training and been given the odd half hour 'special, just because you asked for it' talk from the boss. But I get the idea that if I can't cope I will be out this week (i am only a temp but it is a long term temp position).

Becoming demoralised and really want a job I can 'do'. I could do this job with the right support but feel that the boss is not interested in giving me that suppport....

Are you on top of your job?

cornsilk Sun 14-Jun-09 11:54:08

Yes I feel I am but know that feeling you describe. Can you ask to 'shadow' someone for a couple of days? What was said about your training when you joined?

bluejeans Sun 14-Jun-09 11:57:30

Hi Caramel

I'm in a similar situation, I changed job last year and am struggling with the same issues I had in the previous company. I like my job when I can do it but that's not often. Usually my workload is way too much, I don't have proper trianing and communication is poor - decisions are made and I'm not informed and I end up looking incompetent as a result. I've been through counselling recently, independent but funded by my company's Employee Support program, but feel that the company is making out I'm the problem. Rather than help me deal with work, the conclusion I have come to with the help of my counsellor is that I need to look for a new job. Easier said than done though - meant to be looking now but MN more fun! It's only recently I've realised being so unhappy at work has had such an impact on the rest of my life, probably the same for you?

CaramelisedOnions Sun 14-Jun-09 11:59:27

I am shadowing various different people at the moment.

I was told that I will need to be up to speed within 3 months but the training seems to be down to me: observing others and asking them questions. the only downfall is if I don't ask them the 'right' questions or get an answer that is not quite right, I am not to know really.

Have had some harsh feedback from boss and wonder if it is worth sticking at, going to be assessed tomorrow for my last having a great Sunday thinking about it when I should be doing some reading to get more on top of it.

TotalChaos Sun 14-Jun-09 12:02:09

oh dear. That's why I jacked solicitoring in, because of this sort of afraid I can only offer sympathy rather than constructive advice. as cornsilk said - what was said about training when you accepted the new job?

Is there any particular CPD courses you can hunt out that will address the gap? I think the best chance of saving this job will be if you can identify a solution yourself - so your partner just has to say yes or no to what you propose.

TotalChaos Sun 14-Jun-09 12:03:24

cross-posted - so what are you being assessed on then, if you are shadowing atm rather than doing the job?

cornsilk Sun 14-Jun-09 12:03:35

That sounds stressful and a bit crap actually. Do you know specifically what training you need in order to do the job effectively? Could you say that to your boss tomorrow?

CaramelisedOnions Sun 14-Jun-09 12:04:04

Blue Jeans - you ARE in the same boat as me. Sorry!

I want to do something challenging and rewarding and this job is just that. BUT I can't be expected to just 'do it' although that would be far better for my boss.

the other team members doing my job have either come with experience or have come through the training programme so have all learnt at a much slower pace. I too feel that my shortcomings are stopping me from doing my job when really I just need some focused training and support. I'm not talking weeks of training just the odd afternoon.....

I want to give up and do something much easier now which is a shame as I should be able to get on with it.

CaramelisedOnions Sun 14-Jun-09 12:09:14

Total chaos - thanks, I was a paralegal and feet never touched the floor now working in local govt (don't want to say too much as will give myself away).

I have been shadowing others then having a go myself (interviewing) and not coming up to scratch.

I have asked boss for specific and focused training but he is not very forthcoming as too busy!!

Sorry, having a good winge I know. DP says just work hard and get on with it but really feel out of my depth and being told I am not doing well is not very encouraging....

No training mentioned at interview really, now I come to think of it!!

cornsilk Sun 14-Jun-09 12:11:38

Can you find the training yourself and then present the options to your boss with a time framework and the outcomes of the training?

zookeeper Sun 14-Jun-09 12:13:04

I did law and my training contract was hell - I think it's part of the "I learnt the hard way" culture mixed with old fashioned bullying.

contact the Law society - I think thay have some sort of helpline for this sort of thing

CaramelisedOnions Sun 14-Jun-09 12:14:16

Yes cornsilk. thanks for your suggestion

I will do this if I get through tomorrow as I feel this is just the first hurdle. Am being assessed on the easy stuff but then the workload will increase and become more demanding....

CaramelisedOnions Sun 14-Jun-09 12:15:47

Zookeeper - thanks, in local govt now though but recognise the 'hard way/crying in the toilets' approach to training.

CaramelisedOnions Sun 14-Jun-09 14:50:17


cornsilk Sun 14-Jun-09 14:53:52

What's up?

cornsilk Sun 14-Jun-09 14:59:21

Are you okay?

TotalChaos Sun 14-Jun-09 17:47:05

are you getting any decent feedback - i.e. not just a hatchet job, but constructive advice of what needs to be improved (an ideally how)? unfortunately I never worked in local government, just private practice so won't have done specifically the sort of work you've done, but feel free to CAT me if you think it would be any use to talk more freely offboard

sunburntats Sun 14-Jun-09 18:02:53

I did and many times still do feel out of my depth and suffer from an acute feeling of lacking control.

But i do think that it is quite normal to feel like this in a new job. Sometimes for many months. Do you feel that you are bing a bit hard on yourself?

Is it the actual work or the juggling of home, kids and life that you are struggling with?

llareggub Sun 14-Jun-09 18:08:18

Are you being too hard on yourself? Are you a perfectionist? I often find people who perceive themselves to be struggling at work are the ones who expect to jump into a new job and know everything. It is perfectly normal and acceptable to not know everything and to learn on the job. There is no way a new employee will know as much as an experienced one, even with equivalent qualifications and career history.

I find that it takes new employees at least 6 months to find their feet and even longer sometimes to really operate effectively. There is a learning curve in every new job.

CaramelisedOnions Sun 14-Jun-09 23:01:08

Thank you everyone for your kind words and support.

Had a bit of a meltdown this afternoon and went to bed.....

the feedback I have now had on 3 occasions was a total hatchett/wipe the floor/you're crap kind of feedback.

Not really a perfectionist just don't feel sharp enough to do the job and of course managing kids etc on top is not helping.

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