Support meeting

[vimtoseabreeze]

I'm a regular poster but NC, I've been off work for a bit as I've been badly bullied by a colleague and the office has completely changed lots of new starters who are very young and formed cliques etc...works not been getting done by the others but affects me so I've been staying late to get things done...I spoke to my manager and have put things in writing...nothing changed...I became so ill mentally and physically so went to my GP and got signed off for a month!

I've had a letter asking me to come in for a support meeting, I was just starting to feel better and feel like me again but the thought of going into that place fills me with dread, I can't sleep, eat etc I just don't want to go back it's made me so ill I just don't know what to do...my husband wants me to go tell them exactly why i am ill and part of me does want to go but at the same time I just can't face it (I am part of a union and asked for a rep to come but no one has contacted me yet)...if I declined the meeting and resign from my job can they give me a bad reference?

[Luckycatsplat]

I'm sorry you are feeling rubbish. I've been there and it won't define your future. X

Easy one first - the reference. The only thing they can't do is lie. If you were always late and had a bad attitude they can say that. If your record is impecable they can't lie and say it isn't. So as long as you were a good member of staff you should be OK.

As for the meeting: your contract probably says you have to engage with your employmer while off. It's not unreasonable for them to ask to meet with you but it could be argued you are not following the sickness policy if you don't.

I know some of the HR reps on here feel very strongely that the meetings are genuingely designed to be helpful and supportive.

Is it possible to meet them off site? When I was off, my boss wanted to come to my home. I refused and she eventually agreed to a quiet coffee shop as lomg as she had it on record that I was willing to discuss everything in public where other people could hear. Alternatively does your union have an office you could use or do you have an occupational health? Sometimes a neutral office makes things so much better.

Have you discussed this with your union? Would a formal grievance help?

[vimtoseabreeze]

Hi thanks for the reply, I got in touch with my union but they haven't been helpful at all, really disappointed with them...I got in touch with Citizens advice and they've been great they put me in touch with an employment solicitor and he gave me the low down on what rights I have and the ways they should be supporting me, I have organised a rep to be in the meeting with me but no one has contacted me so far to discuss anything. Which is making my anxiety go through the roof like you they wanted to come to my home which I said no to...it's the one place I feel safe and can shut everything out...so I agreed to meeting at my work place...I just want to lock the doors and forget I ever stepped foot in that place!