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How to Let things go and realize the people you work with might not be friends?

(6 Posts)
Bimbop5 Fri 20-Jan-17 22:39:34

In theory I can do this, or logically speaking. But my emotions always get the better of me. I see the good in people and don't realize they are looking out for themselves, not me. I hate been gullible and sensitive. I got upset at work this week and felt paranoid that people didn't want me at work. I spoke to my boss who reassured me that everything is fine. But now I feel like she thinks I'm a nut job. I wish I hadn't admitted that I felt like I wasn't wanted at work, like I wasn't part of the team. Now I just feel like I've made a mountain out of a molehill. I emailed her to apologize but haven't had a response and now I wish I hadn't emailed cause I feel like a completely crazy person.

Why do I need everyone to like me? It's so frustrating because logically I know that people at work don't have to be your friend. Argh. So upset at myself.

dontbesillyhenry Fri 20-Jan-17 22:43:21

It's hard but it takes time. How is everything else in your life? Sometimes if you are at a low ebb in general it smarts more to feel like you aren't liked/don't fit in at work
I've learnt a lot myself this last twelve months when it comes to work keep your cards close to your chest. People can and do surprise you. Many have their own agendas. Keep it breezy and professional and don't let emotions get the better of you

redexpat Fri 20-Jan-17 22:55:58

Read nice girls dont get the corner office. It's a good place to start.

empirerecordsrocked Fri 20-Jan-17 23:06:25

Bluntly the people you work with are just that, people you work with, not friends.

What's happened in particular?

RC1234 Fri 20-Jan-17 23:27:39

As stated above - is there anything else in your life that is making you more sensitive than usual? How have your colleagues let you down/ upset you?

Not everyone you meet or work with is your friend, but most people are at the very least respectful and considerate. It is best not to share sensitive information or feelings at work, but as a former line manager I can tell you reassuring my team like your manager did this week was actually part of my job. Your manager may well not respond to an email on a Friday night... and unless you have asked a specific question they may not answer the e-mail at all. Hopefully there will be a follow up face to face meeting next week to ask if you are feeling better.

Bimbop5 Sat 21-Jan-17 02:53:57

Thanks everyone... I'm feeling a bit anxious lately about work as there have been a lot of changes. I'm worried I won't get enough hours and someone with less seniority ended up with full time hours while I only got a few shifts. It's hard to explain without outing myself but I was upset as I felt there was some favoritism. Now that I found out this wasn't the case I feel stupid for being suspicious. I was in the right to question it but I feel I was too emotional about it all. It's just a stupid situation.

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