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Off with stress and feeling guilty

(7 Posts)
Greensweet Wed 05-Oct-16 11:47:35

Hi all,
So I've been signed off from work for a month due to stress. I've currently spent a week at home but I'm feeling so guilty about not being at work. I've read other threads about people being off with stress and they seem to be so ill and now I am feeling like a fraud because I am still able to do things like walk my dog and go for a run. I feel so guilty right now, I'm sat on the sofa with my dog watching TV and all I can think is that my work is paying me to do a job and here I am watching TV! I feel so lazy. Then I start thinking about going back to work and all the panicky feelings come back. When I was there, I felt so incapable and inadequate. I have decided to resign and will be contacting my boss to let her know. Having this conversation is stressing me out so I am going to wait until tomorrow when I have my sister in law with me so I am not alone when I phone work. My notice period is quite long, I can't officially leave until Xmas so I'm hoping my doctor will continue to sign me off until then because I can't face going back but then I think maybe I'm making a bigger deal out of this and I am well enough to go back. Then I panic about how I will be perceived and treated by people if I do go back to work as I have heard from a work friend that some people there don't think I'm really ill. Then I start thinking that maybe they are right, I'm not ill, just too lazy to do the work my job requires. I worry that if my doctor signs me off again, work will involve occupational health and the occupational health person will "see through me" and say I should be back at work. Oh dear, I'm sorry this post has gone on and on, I know I've rambled. I just wanted some advice I guess. Do other people who have been off with stress felt this way? I think I feel guilty that I am able to do things, I feel like if I was really ill with stress then I would not want to get out of bed or like I should be crying all the time. All I've done since I got signed off is worry...

ThinkOfAWittyNameLater Wed 05-Oct-16 11:53:09

This is exactly why you should be signed off right now.

Stress is a physical and an emotional condition. You are no less deserving of time off than anyone else.

I hope you do start to feel better soon x

StealthPolarBear Wed 05-Oct-16 11:54:36

Your anxiety is so evident

greenfolder Wed 05-Oct-16 11:59:34

can I make a suggestion?
don't resign. certainly not yet. you are not well. do not make this decision now. wait until 3 weeks have passed and see how things look then.
You might have a long notice period but if you want to leave earlier you could negotiate this later down the line.

trixymalixy Wed 05-Oct-16 12:08:57

I agree with PP, Please don't resign just now. Leave it a bit.

You've been legitimately signed off by a doctor for a reason, so try not to feel guilty.

My experience with occ health was that they were very sympathetic, so please don't worry about that.

fruitbrewhaha Thu 06-Oct-16 18:17:21

Another saying please don't resign now. Don't make any big decisions right now. You need to give yourself time to get better. You are suffering from stress and anxiety, that is clear from your post.

That you can go out for a run and walk the dog is a good thing. If you were completely incapacitated and couldn't leave the house you'd have a larger mountain to climb.

lemondropcake Wed 12-Oct-16 13:34:58

I've been in this boat. Occupational health got involved and at that point I couldn't handle any more stress and I just handed in my resignation. I had no job to go to which made me very stressed and anxious. I am finally after five months getting my life back on track. I took on a temp job which I like, got myself a new job to go to once that contract finishes and that's my fresh start.
I would stay and look for something else whilst on stress leave. Do not feel guilty. Its good your able to relax and enjoy yourself whilst your off, to help beat the stress. As soon as you go back into your nightmare work situation you would be glad to be sat on your couch! Be kind to yourself and stuff what others think of you. Do what is best for you.
I can't advise what OH were like because I jumped at that stage but I wish I had kept on a big longer.

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