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My boss is making my life hell.

(29 Posts)
upupupandaway Mon 12-May-14 07:33:30

Started a new job about 4 months ago. I think alarm bells were ringing when I had the second interview, You know when something doesn't quite add up. The money is dire but it seemed like the perfect job for me; welcoming new ideas, small friendly work force etc, etc...
Woke up this morning to find my head throbbing and my pillows covered in blood, A huge gash to my head. Yeah, I got shit faced last night after a 2 hour rant from my " lovely" boss about me supposedly bad mouthing the company to a colleague.
The colleague in question is great at her job; she phoned me to voice her concerns about our employment status and to raise concerns about her working hours/conditions. I told her that I too have similar concerns.
She phoned the boss to voice her concerns about her own problems at work and "apparently" my name was mentioned. It all kicked off from there. I was very professional and managed to counter all the " accusations".
I can see clearly that my boss is a calculating bully and I'm such a trusting soul I didn't see this coming.
I honestly feel I'm having some sort of a breakdown. I don't know what to do, my colleague wont return my calls; we are being played off against each other, I'm in shreds.

ssd Mon 12-May-14 07:46:27

similar situation here, found out this weekend one of my bosses has been lying about me to another collegue, presumably so theyll hate me, luckily another collegue heard and told me and after confronting boss its been sorted...till the next time!

my workplace is pathetic, wages are minimum wage, but the hrs suit and its near school.

feel stuck.

Lagoonablue Mon 12-May-14 07:48:49

Are you in a union at all? If so, ask for advice.

Start logging any incident of concern.

Wondering why colleagues are ringing you t weekends?

Keep work relationships professional from now on. Keep a distance, don't gossip or discuss concerns with others. It will make things worse.

If likely boss will be staying for some time. You may just need to start looking for another job.

Sorry you are on this situation.

upupupandaway Mon 12-May-14 07:50:03

I'm sorry to hear your story. I've been set up by my boss too. My colleague and I got on brilliantly, now she wont speak to me. I know I can get another job but I'm in a bad place right now. Why do people have to be so bloody cruel?

upupupandaway Mon 12-May-14 07:52:48

No union, tiny company, lot's of empty promises. Was told at interview that they had a problem keeping staff. I know why now. I wasn't gossiping with colleague; she rang me to voice her concerns; she was fuming. We work weekends, it's community stuff.

ssd Mon 12-May-14 07:53:54

in my workplace, things are so bad because my bosses are completely incompetent, they both lie and gossip continuously about other colleagues, so long as they aren't there!! terrible bitchy atmosphere most of the time.

there is one decent junior boss, but she's leaving as she cant take working there any more

trying to get a new job but don't know where to start!

ssd Mon 12-May-14 07:56:54

upupup, I think you and I just need new jobs, my bosses will never change and like your workplace there's no union, no contract!!!, nothing, its run very badly by people getting away with murder. I've been there 6 yrs and this is the worst its ever been.

you have my sympathies thanks

Timeandtune Mon 12-May-14 07:58:52

You don't need to accept being on the receiving end of a 2 hour rant. That is beyond excessive.If you can take some control back then you can ask for a summary of the key "issues" and then reach an agreement over how to proceed.

If you feel so inclined you could apologise - once and briefly- for any "misunderstanding " and then move on to a completely professional footing.

upupupandaway Mon 12-May-14 08:31:30

Have spoken to my colleague. She said she has been fed the same shit as me by the director. The manager is incompetent , he sidestepped all the issues I raised, I have been brow beaten to the point I've been left a gibbering wreck.

Unexpected Mon 12-May-14 08:31:56

But no matter how awful it is, don't turn to alcohol to the extent that you end up with an injury that you don't even remember. It won't solve anything and could potentially make it much worse. Sympathies for what you are going through.

ssd Mon 12-May-14 08:37:47

agree, but it is utter crap

my job ticks almost all the boxes, but the managers are worse than hopeless, there have been many complaints against them but no one seems able to get rid of them and they know they'll never get the same deal elsewhere....or get away with the same behaviour

Brittapieandchips Mon 12-May-14 08:42:19

Your workplace doesn't have to be unionised for you to join a union. Every employed person should be a member, think of it as insurance.

TUC Union Finder tool

upupupandaway Mon 12-May-14 08:52:08

I think I need to just get myself another job ASAP. I was promise loads of hours, opportunities to run new projects, but if I'm honest I think this company is nepotistic in that a lot of the employees get the best jobs/hours etc. I also suspect there is a scam going on, the director is very smart and I feel to friendly from day one. There is no professional distance and she tries to coerce me into talking about my colleagues which I feel unhappy about doing. I have not and will not gossip to her about them.

upupupandaway Mon 12-May-14 09:04:19

I meant to say a lot of (bank) staff are relatives and they get the cream . I have been bullied before at a few places of work ,but nothing comes close to this.

ssd Mon 12-May-14 09:39:37

isnt it a shame when a job we take on that seems to suit us so well turns out crap only because of a few incompetent people angry

upupupandaway Mon 12-May-14 09:47:19

I know, I have been promised so much. Turns out they didn't even reference check me.

MarathonFan Mon 12-May-14 09:50:45

Hmm, so your lovely colleague encouraged you to "bad mouth" the boss and then told her all about it?

Your reaction to a (very) bad day at work was to get so drunk you injured yourself?

The boss is obviously dreadful but I don't think that's where all your problems stem from TBH.

I agree with others, you're not going to change you boss so you either need to find better ways to deal with her or change your job sad

upupupandaway Mon 12-May-14 10:08:19

My colleague didn't instigate anything. She was told that I was discussing her!! I have had 4 months of living on a knifes edge. I simply cannot walk on eggshells any longer. My colleague has told the evil boss she is looking for another job; I will not follow suit.
I usually only drink ( moderately) on the weekend. I hadn't eaten much yesterday and I opened a bottle of wine and drank most of it. Discovered how I caused my injury, pool of blood where I'd tripped over a broom stale in my back yard. I have to get a grip, I'm feeling so low.

blueshoes Mon 12-May-14 11:09:42

I am sorry to hear of the toxic workplace but I have to agree with Marathon that your way of coping with drinking is not appropriate.

I don't think that is actually coping. It sounds more like self-destruction. Your drinking to cope with what is a stressful situation (sorry, it is bad but not That Bad) is a much bigger issue than your workplace troubles.

You are only 4 months into the job - this can relatively easily be sorted by finding another job. This one does not pay well anyway so why try to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear? There is no point hanging on to this job. That does not make sense to me and sounds like you are punishing yourself.

Sorry to sound harsh. I think you need some perspective and step back from the situation. Can you take a few days' leave?

upupupandaway Mon 12-May-14 19:29:00

When you're a single parent and there is no one to comfort you, listen to you ;alcohol seems like the next best option.

Unexpected Mon 12-May-14 19:29:54

Where was your child when this incident happened?

upupupandaway Mon 12-May-14 21:00:34

With grand parents. I've had a hell of a lot going on besides work as has my colleague. I thing there has been cultural differences; we're both white British, but it takes me back to living in the south nearly 30 years ago. Completely different culture, there has been misunderstandings I think they should have overlooked this incident but I still have trust issues. My bosses are very professional however I don't think they handled the situation well. You can be professional but you cannot be mates with an employee. I'm on tenterhooks. I am looking for another job. My gut instinct tells me I really need to work for myself.

ssd Tue 13-May-14 07:47:39

what about childminding op?

that way you can be your own boss and you dont need childcare, its something to seriously consider.

upupupandaway Tue 13-May-14 21:47:38

/a lot calmer today, never have I been this wound up before. I really don't do mind games and I didn't see this coming.

Yesterday I was called in for an " emergency" meeting. My Father had to drive me as I was an emotional wreck. Meeting was really bizarre, lot's of praising me for all my efforts. My " nice Colleague" couldn't make this meeting, so they went over old ground about her talking about other people. I might add she is very good at her job, and in know way a bitch; she pointed out some issue that needed addressing and happened to mention I agreed ( which I did). There was no gossiping between us, we just get on very well and do a good job to boot. I got the impression early on that Boss lady didn't like her, it wasn't said directly, odd comments . her looks and so on
At this meeting Boss lady mentions that she " monitors" us though facebook just in case of foul play re work????I did think it odd that she sent me a friend request barely one week after employing me.
At the end of the meeting I told them I felt ,at the time they were trying to extrapolate information in order to blame my colleague for something she hadn't done.

It gets worse. Tonight my colleague phones for a chat. She said she thought at times it could be me "stirring", I explained to her that I expected she would as Boss had fed her so much shit about what I had supposedly said. She then went on to told me she felt guilty
about these feelings but after the conversation with her 20 something son , she realised she too was being "played". Apparently the son asked his Mom who " Tracey" was? She asked which Tracey; he replied " Tracey Jxxxxx) I don't know who she is and why she would contact me. Boss had the bare faced cheek to send her son a friend request, two days after things blew off at work!! I think she loves a drama, she thinks she can run rings around us, in short I thing she's a megalomaniac but I've already applied for 2 jobs this morning and when I find something I'm going to tell the evil bitch that although she might be smart, she's totally transparent.

upupupandaway Thu 29-May-14 22:17:30

Well, an update! Go myself a new job, better pay ,hours to suit, told my boss I'm moving on.

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