I have done something REALLY stupid.

[FoolOfTheHighestOrder]

I have changed my name due to utter shame as I really have done the stupidest thing I have ever done.

I start a new job at the end of the week. Basically, I got fired from my last job (not for fraud or anything, I told someone what I thought of them and when it all kicked off, I had suffered quite a traumatic bereavment the week before and I had no interest in the disciplinary hearing and did nothing to put my side forward....not an excuse though, I was in the wrong, simple as that) and when I applied for this job, they didn't ask the reason for my leaving that post (I have had a job inbetween then and now).

I got an interview and, stupidly, I am still so ashamed that I got fired from my last job, I didn't say anything about it and said I left for another reason. I got offered the job and I start at the end of the week. They'll find out I lied when they check my references, won't they? I have been stressing about this for days now, swinging between hoping to god they won't ask my referee why I left (in which case, if they find out after I have started, they will be well within their rights to sack me...) and trying to get up the courage to ring the manager tomorrow and confess, explain what happened and that I was really ashamed of everything, apologize for wasting their time etc and see what happens.

Please somebody, just tell me I have made the right decision here.....please none of you go on too much about how stupid, foolish and idiotic I am, I know that.

[Gemjar]

As for what the right thing to do is, only you can make that call. However, they may not find out, employers mostly only provide dates from when you started and when you left the job and so your new job may only ask their HR dept. to confirm that you were employed there and what dates. Each company deals with these things slightly differently and where some might just give dates over the phone and no other info, others may provide employment details in writing and that would likely have a reason for leaving on it, even if no detail it would say something like "dismissed due to gross misconduct"

I take references as part of my job in recruitment and although bad it may not even mean that they won't give you the job, last year, someone that I recruited had been sacked from a previous job, and when we found out, she had to provide further references and a decision was then made from her future bosses and in the end they decided to take her on anyway.

[FoolOfTheHighestOrder]

Thanks, Gemjar, I'm going to have to ring them and tell them, I think, as it's eating away at me. I won't be able to start a new job and enjoy it if I'm constantly waiting to be called in and told that they've discovered my little secret.....and then I'll be sacked again, no doubt and then I'll have two sackings to explain to the next people I try and get a job with. And I really don't want that!

[Grevling]

I'd leave it. Seriously leave it. Start work do your best. Then if they find you out your "Gemma" in accounts not some random job applicant and its harderr to sack a face once you get to know it.

[glimmer]

But maybe - you really left because you couldn't fight he battle after your bereavement and that's really why you left? That might have fired you anyway, but maybe they wouldn't have had you had the strength to defend your side?

[TheProvincialLady]

I would contact them and explain, or you will be a nervous wreck with the worry of not knowing whether or not you will be dismissed - and then you will have to add that to the catalogue of errors you have to explain to your next employer. If they decide to withdraw the offer you can start to plan how you will explain things to your next potential employers. Start with a clean slate.