Is it bad to have time off work due to stress?

[yellowflowers]

My dh having very hard time at work. I am worried he is making himself physically and mentally ill. His line manager knows but is under a lot of stress himself. My dh needs some time off - I am thinking about marching him to docs and getting him signed off for week or so due to stress so he can just recover. Question is, does having this on your record look bad - is it better to have time off for other illness rather than for work to think he can't handle pressure? I don't to ruin his chances of promotion or a good ref for a different job.

[Bonsoir]

I think that it is important for employers to know when they are putting their employees under undue stress and I think it is right for employees to make a stand.

But I don't think a week off on its own is very useful. Could your DH ask work for some help/coaching/something concrete to relieve the stress rather than just rest?

[flowerybeanbag]

Some people do have a bit of a prejudice about work-related stress, or just stress in general, as a reason for being absent from work.

However my immediate thought on reading your post was if he's suffering with work-related stress he's not going to recover with a week off. It's a generalisation but IME people who go off with work-related stress tend to be off a fair while, and the causes of the stress need to be addressed.

Is anything happening about resolving the issues at work?

[Poogles]

If it is work-related stress, the stress will still be there after a week off (maybe even more so if there is no-one to pick up the work). The best way of dealing with it is to talk to his manager, his managers manager or HR.

If the Company are not aware of the issues they can't help your husband deal with them. It might be training issues, workload, time management etc which are things that can be dealt with.

If your husband is not coping with his current job or asking for help when he needs it, this will hurt his chances of promotion much more than being off with stress.

Sometimes just talking through the issues help some people deal with things!

[yellowflowers]

It's more that lots of people have been let go or restructured so everyone is wondering who is next and also having to do more work. But he is throwing up each morning before going to work and it's really getting to him and he is really tearful.

[Poogles]

He needs to sit and talk to someone at work about the changes and what plans there are for future changes, how this affects him/his team etc. Communication is important and usually the last thing a Company gets round to doing! The right information may help him feel better - sometimes it is the not knowing that causes the worry.

Does he have an occupational health department he can talk to? It sounds like he is suffering but it doesn't sound like taking time off is going to resolve the problem (although some time away may allow him to put it in perspective?).

If I was him, I would sit down and ask what's happening and then go and see the GP if things don't get any better.

[DancingHippoOnAcid]

Perhaps he would feel better if he was able to be proactive and start looking for another job, rather than just waiting for the axe to fall?

[flowerybeanbag]

Agree with DancingHippo. With this kind of situation the stress largely comes from uncertainty and feeling out of control of your own situation. So he needs to try and get back some control, so focusing on looking for something else might help him do that.

[yellowflowers]

Thank you. He asked for and got two days off next week and told his boss why and they have a meeting when he is back to chat it through. He's also looking for other stuff but hi work is quite specialised so opportunities come up not so often. He's also decided not to go for a promotion that is coming up - I think he is partly stressed because he feels he should go for it but doesn't want it. I would rather have him home and less stressed and able to enjoy first few months of new baby (due in dec) than working all hours to secure the promotion.