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End of life care and finding a nursing home - where to start.

(11 Posts)
maggiso Tue 31-Oct-17 08:35:07

My lovely 90 year old Dd had a stroke 10 days ago and is in hospital. He is very frail with almost everything failing( heart, lungs kidneys etc) and is now too weak to get out of bed or eat.. he has been on the end of life pathway, on morphine for the last week. I don’t think he was expected to hold on this long. The hospital need his bed,- so what next?
Where do I look for a possible suitable comfortable caring place for him - to make what are likely to be his last days comfortable? Is it possible to get this sort of care - and the equipment needed at his home? DM needs to be near him.
I don’t know where to start. Care homes will not be suitable as he needs nursing care. also complicated by siblings and I living several hours drive away- all in different directions. Any pointers would be helpful.

Teddygirlonce Tue 31-Oct-17 08:45:28

maggiso so sorry to hear about your dad and that you are having to cope with this extra stress at this very sad time.

My first thought is that a hospice is where he should be, or if you DM and you/siblings would prefer him to be at home this should be possible with appropriate support (although I don't know in practice how easy this is to arrange at very short notice)? The hospital should be helping you sort this out ASAP (although it strikes me as being extremely uncaring that they expect him to be moved at this stage sad).

NorthernLurker Tue 31-Oct-17 08:49:25

I'm sorry to hear this. If he's on a syringe driver then the hospice, bed availability permitting would be a good idea or you can get hospice care at home. The hospital should hVe a complex discharge team and palliative care specialists to help with this. Ask to speak to them.

Re the need for the bed, it's not uncaring. The ward is probably working on 95% plus occupancy. If beds aren't emptied people admitted through ed have nowhere to go. It's a really bad time in the NHS ATM.

CMOTDibbler Tue 31-Oct-17 08:49:51

Talk to the hospital about what they suggest - is there a community hospital nearer to your mum? a hospice? or some nursing homes provide end of life care

BubblesPip Tue 31-Oct-17 08:51:59

Some hospices provide a ‘hospice at home’ service. They often provide carers and nurses to tend to his needs at home.

thesandwich Tue 31-Oct-17 10:13:15

So sorry to hear this. A hospice or hospice at home care would be the best option- is there one locally? Otherwise our county council have a phone line for info re care provision and web pages.... good luck and flowers

maggiso Tue 31-Oct-17 10:15:32

Thank you everyone. We are all feeling rather she’ll shocked. I do understand that the bed on the specialist rehab ward is much needed for people who can recover. . I will look into the local hospice support. The facility that would have best met his needs has recently closed. The hospital only broached the subject of finding a nursing home yesterday. He is on a syringe driver Northern. I need to go and talk to the hospital staff myself.

Oly5 Tue 31-Oct-17 10:18:10

The hospital palliative care team should be advising you. They advised in a hospice for my do and then we got a brilliant package of care at home. But the palliative care twam at the hospital can work with district nursing can work to get you set up at home straight away if that’s what you prefer.
This is for them to sort out based on your wishes

Oly5 Tue 31-Oct-17 10:18:41

Sorry for typos!!

maggiso Tue 31-Oct-17 14:06:28

Thanks Oly. I am glad to hear the hospital should help us organise palliative care. We'll see what they say today, although I cannot go there there myself for a couple of days ( I took time off last week)

NorthernLurker Wed 01-Nov-17 10:25:09

Ask them to ring you. That's perfectly understandable.

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