My mother m has just completed her second week in hospital and will be on some sort of hospital/unit/care for probably another 8 I would guess. Poor thing, she has been through the wars: she has a number of chronic health conditions, then had a very very nasty fall (hence 8-10 weeks in hospital care).
Anybody else (staff or the occasional other visitor) says how positive and invest she is. Needless to say she saves all of the complaints etc for me. To everyone else she doesn't have much pain (well managed) and doesn't seem confused. I get that she has been in terrible pain all day, hardly slept at all last night, hasn't had any painkillers in 5 hours (check with nurse and she had some 45 minutes earlier), doesn't like this nurse or that nurse (they are rude and throw her around), they haven't completed the (very particular) clinical tasks either at all or properly (which is very important). And on and on and on. She often mis-hears me, then has a go at me for repeating it. She keeps threatening to dig into a secret stash of painkillers (think that I have ensured that there aren't any - she is on various maximum doses from the hospital) She also keeps talking about getting out of bed by herself (they have side bars on because she is at massive risk of falling again and massively unsteady on her feet - can't move without an adapted walker and assistance). Every helpful suggestion/offer is turned down. Anything I show her that she can do herself is met with a "don't like it"/"don't feel like it"/"can't do it"/etc.
I am an only child. Have just cut visits down from everyday (diffficult with a demanding job, a family and living an hour+ away from the hospital) to four times a week.
I appreciate that she is down and really unhappy (she is 79) and wants control and independence back. But am finding the hospital visits difficult. We have run out of things to talk about, anything I ask her about is answered with negatives, and I am increasingly terrified that she will do herself a mischief 🙁 (so am feeling pretty anxious most of the time).
How do you cope with this? Realising we have a looooong way to go 😳
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Elderly parents
How do you handle elderly parent in hospital (long term)?
14 replies
AhAgain · 04/10/2017 22:47
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