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changing schools - how do I approach this?

(12 Posts)
aggiestar Mon 19-Oct-09 09:53:54

After a lot of very carefull thinking & sleepless nights we are moving our son (yr1) to a different primary school. Hubby working away at the moment so it's down to me to tell our son about the move, he will start his new school after Oct half term - I'm really worried about telling him & how he'll react, any suggestions?

stakethroughtheheartofgold Mon 19-Oct-09 09:54:53

can i ask about your reasons for moving him and why you didn't involve him in the decision?

aggiestar Mon 19-Oct-09 10:08:41

many reasons for moving him for social, emotional & educational reasons. The school has consistantly failed in some areas & I believe a five year old is too young to understand let alone decide if he/she should be moved. He would probably choose to stay at his current school because of who he sits next to at lunch & it's got a great tree to climb! Just would appreciate some advice from anyone who's tackled this difficult & sensitive subject.

englishpatient Mon 19-Oct-09 10:16:40

Are you able to give it a little longer before the move, so that you can gradually get the idea of the new school into his head? We are planning to move DS but not until next year, and have been talking about "when you go to x" in a positive way for some time, so that he looks forward to it, and also so that he knows that it is something that will happen.

I agree with you that it is not appropriate for him to make the decision at his age, but if you take the gradual approach you can make him feel involved, so that he won't (hopefully) object much.

stakethroughtheheartofgold Mon 19-Oct-09 10:17:41

hope my question didn't come across as judgey - was genuine request for more info. i was thinking that a common reason for changing schools is child's unhappiness, in which case you might have raised the possibility of changing schools before the decision is actually made.

Inghouls2 Mon 19-Oct-09 10:22:29

well, we moved our sons in yr 3 +4 so much older and they were very much involved in the decision. However the school did offer them trial days so they knew what to expect.
Can you see if the new school will let him attend for a day this week? Then you can big up all the wonderful things about it over the holiday and prepare him for the new start.
I think it would be very harsh to just tell him he starts a different school without giving him time to adjust to the idea

Doodlez Mon 19-Oct-09 10:25:43

Agree a trial day would help.

We moved both our children at the start of September - mine are 8 & 6. I went to great pains to point out that although they were moving schools, we we not moving house. So all their friends from their old school are still close by and we can still play with them whenever we want.

They accepted this, especially after we went to the local park, met kids from old school and I was able to say 2See, all these children are still around. We'll see loads of them!".

luckyblackcat Mon 19-Oct-09 10:28:48

<waves @ ghouls, nice fancy dress - tis MDS>

I moved my DD this year, for yr 5.

I'd say a trial day is the way to go, everyone wants to befriend the new DC so he will probably have a fab day and not feel so anxious about the move.

I found myself being overthetop enthusiastic about every tiny aspect of DD's new school, it really carried her along.

We are playing her old school at netball tonight, at the old school, they have made her captain so she feels bouyed up and supported enough to cope <hugs new games mistress to bosom> (she left due to long term, low level bullying and new school know this)

thedolly Mon 19-Oct-09 10:43:18

I am moving my 2 DC after Christmas. They have known about it since the decision was made over a month ago. This week they are having some taster days at the new school and they have both gone in this morning very excited. DS who is in year 1 is looking forward to making new friends.

They are also sad that they will be leaving their old school but they will hopefully keep in touch with a few good friends. They both understand that the 'move' is right for us as a family.

My advice to you is to be as open as possible about your reasons for moving him, even if it means telling him that you made a mistake and selected the 'wrong' school (for him) in the first place. It is a good idea not to 'rubbish' the school that you are leaving as many of his friends will still be there. It is probably enough to say that the new school will be better suited to his needs.

Good luck smile.

Inghouls2 Mon 19-Oct-09 10:45:43

Teeny hijack
<Hi MDS grin everything ok?>

Kitchens Wed 21-Oct-09 21:47:42

We moved our son inbetween reception and year one and he started his new school in September. There is a policy in our town that if you go to view a new school you inform your current headteacher. When we went to look round the school DS came with us. We then had to sit on a waiting list, thankfully not for long so by July 09 we knew that he would be starting his new school. I used to go out of my way to drive past it and tell him positive things about it. We also went to their summer fete, so I kind of kept plugging away about it and how great it was going to be. We also went to get his new uniform before the summer holidays started. Then over the summer holidays i'd drop it into the conversation but never in a big way just drip drip drip. He has now been there since Sept and loving it. He's a changed boy. Much more motivated and happy and so am I.

LadyMuck Thu 22-Oct-09 08:42:54

We moved ds2 during the Year 1 school year. He was happy at his previous school (where his older brother still goes), but there were reasons why we didn't think that he would thrive further up the school and decided to change sooner rather than later. He did have a trial day and we sold the positives of that day. I think that children tend to be quite flexible at this age and ds2 managed the change relatively well with only one wobbly day which was the first time he had to go and drop off ds1 at his old school and he saw his old classmates before heading off to new school.

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