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What would you say if you found out your 8yr old dd was having to stay in at lunchtime?

(16 Posts)
LoveMyGirls Tue 02-Oct-07 16:24:38

Because there wasn't enough time in class to do the work set out? Not just dd but quite a few of the others in her class too. This is not the first time they have been made to stay in its happened a few times.

I don't really mind her missing the odd playtime as I think it does them good to see actions have consequences and the school need to disapline children somehow BUT I think lunchtimes are a bit long and children need that longer break to make sure they get enough to eat and have a good run around so they can sit back down and concentrate in the afternoon.

What do you think, what would you do?

dustystar Tue 02-Oct-07 16:29:06

Does she miss her whole lunchtime? Thats seems a bit harsh even if they've been messing around.

LoveMyGirls Tue 02-Oct-07 16:34:33

Dd1 said she's really worrying over it, i know she has because quite a few times lately she has said she is worried but said she didnt know why she was worried it was just a feeling in her belly. I knew they kept them in at playtimes sometimes but didnt realise it was lunchtimes too sometimes until another parent came to me today after she had spoken to the teacher. My dd1 is hard working, not the type to play up in class though i will admit her mind wanders and the teacher has spoken to me about her concentration I have asked the teacher to ensure dd knows what she has to do. Dd said today she had her hand up for ages as she was unsure then the teacher said come on you have 2mins or you will stay in so because teacher hadn't gone to dd in time dd had to stay in and do her work she missed half an hour and then had to rush dinner she said when she went out to play but as soon as she did they had to line up again. This afternoon in class she said she felt like crying because she hadn't played with her friends.

potoftea Tue 02-Oct-07 16:35:39

I don't think this is okay at all. We all need a break during the work day, and children do too. If she can't finish her work at the same pace as the rest of the class I think she should do it at home in the evenings.

Breaktime is important for socialising with others, as well as getting some exercise (especially with so many children now being overweight), and isn't a reward.

I wouldn't mind a child missing the first few minutes of breaktime as punishment for bad behaviour, but that's it.

dustystar Tue 02-Oct-07 16:36:27

I think you need to go in and have a chat with her teacher.

phdlife Tue 02-Oct-07 16:37:27

agree with potoftea. If it's happening that often I would have to wonder if teacher is setting realistic tasks for the time-frame...

Twiglett Tue 02-Oct-07 16:41:26

what does 'wasn't enough time in class' mean .. patently some people did finish the work

is there a chance she was messing around or talking instead

would suggest you ask the teacher, non-confrontationally, what the real reason is before assuming its all unfair

but I do think regularly missing lunchtime play would bother me

LoveMyGirls Tue 02-Oct-07 16:45:49

Dd says that 12 of them had to stay in to finish their work.

LoveMyGirls Tue 02-Oct-07 18:11:01

Bump for any more opinions on what to do...... Dp says we should support the school but I think children need their break especially lunch and that if lots of children are not getting all the work finished then it maybe they need to lesson plan better. I would be interested to know if all the children who stayed behind are youngest in the class. I know another child who stayed behind has her birthday the same week as my dd.

HonoriaGlossop Tue 02-Oct-07 19:06:19

I would make an appointment to see the teacher. Just to gather information; you're only getting one side of the story at the moment.

I agree that breaktimes are important. If having listened to the teacher you are convinced that she is being unreasonable in her expectations then I think you're fully within your rights to say that you're not comfortable with it, you want dd to have a break time, and you'd rather she brought unfinished work home....if it came home, you'd also get a chance to see if you think it's an unreasonable amount of work to do in the time.

I do think though, that if your dd was trying to get some clarification so she could finish the work, but wasn't seen, then it is very unfair to punish her for not finishing.

mollymawk Tue 02-Oct-07 19:17:44

If it were me I would definitely want to talk to the teacher to find out more.

IMO, lunchtimes are very important for children for eating (without having to rush), getting fresh air , running about, socialising and lots of other inportant things. I would think of using missing lunchtime as a punishment as a bit of a nuclear option, myself.

But I would want the full picture from the teacher, and then maybe discuss with her/him how to deal with whatever the problem really is (unrealistic amounts of work/dd not concentrating, whatever it turns out to be).

melontum Tue 02-Oct-07 19:20:38

DS can be such a stubborn little git about doing his work, I think this policy would be good for him -- nothing else would motivate him sometimes.

chocolateteapot Tue 02-Oct-07 19:28:49

I have a sort of similar issue with my DD who is the same age but has dyspraxia. According to her she is having to stay a fair number of breaktimes/ lunchtimes as she hasn't finished her work when they have a certain supply teacher.

I've just had to write a letter to her teacher confirming what happened at her appointment with the paed today and have mentioned the lunchtime issue. I've put it that I am slightly concerned about what I am being told by DD but appreciate that I am only being told one side of the story. I went on to say that if she is messing around or talking then I fully support her missing some of playtime, but if it is purely because she failed to finish the work in the time allocated having tried to do it properly, then I am concerned.

I know that's a bit of a different situation but hope it helps a bit.

LoveMyGirls Tue 02-Oct-07 19:59:14

I will see if she has to stay in again this week and if so i will have a word but if not then i'll let it go. I know other parents have raised their concerns so maybe the teacher will think more carefully about dishing out this type of punishment in future. I dont mind dd missing playtime but lunch is important, shes only a dainty little girl now so her not eating enough at lunch is not good.

TheodoresMummy Tue 02-Oct-07 19:59:28

I'm a little confused by this (if your DD was not deliberately misbehaving).

What about children working at their own pace ?

IMO, keeping in at break or lunchtime is a bad idea.

LoveMyGirls Tue 02-Oct-07 20:09:31

I can believe she may have been talking or not listening to instructions its the same things i used to do at school but to hear it's not the first time shes been kept in at lunch and also that there were around 11 other children kept in suggests to me they are expecting a bit much. I believe her when she says she had her hand up and was ignored. I think i do need to speak to her teacher if it happens again just to get the other side of the story but for now I don't want to complain as other parents have complained today so i will see if there are any changes before i go racing in there.

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