Black Parents with DC in independent Schools in London

[Slumberlabd1]

My DC is of African Caribbean descent and has happily been educated in schools with majority white cohorts all of her school life. As my DC is looking at a number of new 6th forms they are considering the diversity of these schools when making a choice. For those BAME parents with DC in similar school settings how has this shaped, affected, benefited or burdened your child? Was this a conscious effort or was this something that you have no thought about
or was it just circumstantial?

White/non BAME parents would you/do you educate your children in settings where they are an ethnic minority? Is this something that you think about when choosing a school?

Honest answers would be appreciated.

Thanks

[Slumberlabd1]

You will note that the title is a little narrower than the description. Had a change of heart

[astonishedzebra]

To be honest, I wouldn't be looking at race of pupils etc I would be looking at the academic performance of the school and if it suits my DC.

[chopc]

I think op is the same as ghanadad and is just surfing or doing research for an article as there was a similar thread asking about BAME is Whitgift, Trinity and DC

[Slumberlabd1]

No have not even seen the other post but will look for it now

[BlueGingerale]

My DS is one of 2 white pupils out of 150 in his year at a grammar school. I think there is 1 black pupil and everyone else is Asian.

His only complaint is the food. The canteen serves curry every day and when they go on school camp it’s curry every day. Which he doesn’t like :)

Besides that no problems at all.

[nylon14]

It is something that we discussed when looking for a school. Obviously the right fit academically is important, but making sure the school at least attempts to reflect London is an issue we considered. That being said, my DD's school is no where near as diverse as I'd like it to be.

[bpisok]

If you are in London and looking at London Indes then many (most?) are pretty diverse.
DD is white and is def in the minority at her school....also the white ones aren't all 'British' white (eg Russian, E European, S Africa, S America). Her group of friends is very mixed.

[elfonshelf]

My DD is white British and definitely a minority at her London primary but there are lots of minority groups there as no one culture dominates.

Diversity is great - what I wouldn't want is to be a minority in a school that is heavily monocultural.

[Lndnmummy]

For me personally, diversity and inclusion was a major factor when deciding primary school for my child. He is mixed race (black/white). For our family this was more important than Ofsted and academic performance. It was also important to me that the school senior leadership and governing body came from a range of backgrounds. I was also looking at the interaction between children of different backgrounds and how they interacted with one another. All very mixed at my son’s school.
As a mother of a black boy I’m under no illusion of some of the adversities that he will face in life and a diverse and cultural rich environment is paramount. I will be looking for a secondary school through the same lens. And I’m not talking about diversity in terms on colour only either. Two brown kids in a class does not diversity make. I’m talking about children from all backgrounds, colour, race, socioeconomic background, ability.

[Wincher]

@bluegingerale is that in north-east London? We are in catchment for that school if so but I have to say that degree of monoculture does bother me a bit. Plus we haven't done any prep for the 11 plus yet, could be a bigger problem...

[JoJoSM2]

We’d prefer a more diverse school. Didn’t use that as a main criterion but would school a diverse school over a monocultural one with all other things being equal. (I’m white but not British and DH is white British).

[feistymumma]

BAME parent here and just commenting that I find your questions bizarre. Surely it's about academic performance. I really cannot imagine any non BAME household thinking oh before we put DC in that school are there ethnic minorities so we can avoid it. I will put my hand up if I have completely missed the question.

[itbemay1]

I chose my Dd & DS school on academic performance, however my white Irish children were a minority, SE London. I would always choose on performance, however we did view another school that was majority white and I wanted a bit more diversity.

[Ifonlyyouknew1]

I have seen first hand parents using the 'black' minority card as a means of getting their child into particular schools. If they don't see many black children then they will accuse the school of being 'unfair'.

I say this with a mixed race child and have been told by these parents that my child is not black enough and therefore does not need to work as hard as their child, because they are black.

If the first thing you see is a colour then of course you are starting on the back foot. As others have said - look at the academic performance of a school. Bullies, misbehaviour, intelligence come from all backgrounds.

[PettsWoodParadise]

DD is at a grammar that has very diverse intake, as white British she is definitely in a significant minority. It wasn't a consideration of ours when we applied.

What we looked for was commonality of interest in education, a school that supported each child being the individual that they were, ease to get to, quality of teaching and extra-curricular enrichment.

The diverse intake is a bonus IME, DD is exposed to lots of cultural events and clubs, but not in a silo of 'this is a BAME' club, it is about inclusion and shared interests in chess, drama, beekeeping and 100 other things. I had 23 girls from her class at my home the other day, it was beautiful, lots of different faiths, lots of different eating requirements - whilst all being confident in being who they were they focused on what they had in common, not what made them different.

[MyCruiseControl]

I very rarely look at the diversity of the pupils. Children don't see colour, in my experience. I do, however, look at the diversity of the staff when I visit a school. I feel if my children can't see themselves in the staff, they may not relate to them well and vice versa. I am surprised by the numbers of state schools full of young white women (and this is in London!) - from headteacher to cleaner. These are usually staff with very little experience of dealing with minorities or even white boys. No wonder white girls are the only demographic excelling at these schools.

[Cliff143]

As a black child attending a good academic school where I was one out of two children of colour out of 700 white British/European children did affect my confidence and self esteem. My parents made the decision to move me to a similar good academic school that was very muliticultural and diverse and I thrived. My attention, focus, self-esteem and happiness led me to doing very well academically. And as a person I left as a more confident and happy child.This then led to me going to university and gaining a Degree, Master's and then a PhD.

Interesting comment about 'Children don't see colour, in my experience' my child in nursery has already been told that she should be calling herself black and not brown by another child and now she says that she would like to go to a school with other brown children who look like her..

[OrlandoInTheWilderness]

My Dd (8) is in a small prep in rural lincs. We are white but I'd say it is a very even mix of white children and BAME. Academically it is excellent, but we also loved the fact it was such a wide mixture of cultures, faiths and people as rural lincs isn't known for being very diverse!

[Home2018]

OP, it's a shame that you have had a lot of parents provide their assertions without experience.

I, and every other parent of black children that I know, without exception, considers the ethnic makeup of a school in depth.

I know people who are considering offers for some of the counties most academic schools (think KCS, Eton, Winchester, NCLS) and the lack of black (not BME but black) children is a major conflict.

Whilst BME is an inclusive term, it doesn't take into account the different cultures that exist within it. In our school, a large proportion of the black children have faced racist incidents (often naive, media encouraged, parental ignorance-based) and comments. And, because these environments have historically had fewer black people in them, a lot of these stereotypes have gone unchecked.

Black people have a unique and individual set of racial stereotypes made against them, as does every other group, but a lot of the stereotypes are what one might say are bottom of the barrel. Think thieves, promiscuous, more aggressive, less intelligent, less wealthy, etc.

In contrast, although still racist, a lot of the stereotypes that exist around say South Asians, for instance, are well-prepped, very academic, very engaged parents (tiger mum-ish) and very ambitions. Whilst this is true in part, this is also true for other racial groups and not true for many South Asians.

As reluctant as I am to play stereotype Olympics, I know which group I'd rather fall into.

A lot of these schools are underrepresented because these exact stereotypes lead to a whole host of identity issues (as above) and I know in my experience, that being around people that looked like me helped, in part, to deal with the daily microaggressions of society.

Whilst the academics are undoubtedly amazing, what is the point if the children come out with identity issues and a lack of self-confidence/imposter syndrome. Honestly, confidence is the one definitive things that people invest in independent schooling for!

There is a concentration of children in Whitgift & Trintiy for this reason. And, despite all of the stereotypes, many full fee-paying, academic children, are in these schools over more academic schools that they have been awarded places in, because of the amount of black, not multi-ethnic, but black children already there!

Many posters see 'diversity' but that's such a lazy term. Just in the same way that I would not expect Irish, Scottish and German people to have the same culture, I don't expect African, Carribean, Chinese and Indian people to either. Yes, many London schools are diverse, but most, across the board, are willfully underrepresented when it comes to black children.

Despite the stereotypical assumptions made for the reasons why, for many black parents (not all, but the vast majority) that are in a position to independently educate their children, unless they can get their children into a handful of schools, many opt for state schooling instead to save their children the trauma of being so drastically 'othered'.

And, unfortunately, many children of mixed (black) heritage will also feel this way in adulthood but perhaps grown by parents that won't have this initial insight until the children are able t later relay understand, articulate and relay this information back to them - usually well into adulthood.

[Home2018]

Ifonlyyouknew

Please tell which schools you have seen parents successfully play the 'Black Minority card in'?

Just, so I know to avoid paying for the privilege to interact with children that are raised by parents who make statements as thick as this.

These schools are either selective or they are not. When have you seen a case of discrimination in this sense played out? Why did you not report the school?

You know first hand that a black child sat a worse paper, had less extracurricular or gave a worse interview, yet they were given a space ahead of another child?

Do you know how I know you don't? Because minus the paper, all of the above is subjective. And, you would have to be in a position to see all papers that any one, two, three, hell the whole cohort sat to make this comparison.


OP, please see an example of people assuming that they have more right or God-given intelligence to places, then making up the most uneducated and trashy of statements to account for why they or others like them didn't make the cut.

Disgusting.

Unfortunately, in my experience, this attitude does exist in these environments and I hope other posters can open their eyes to some of the ways in which racial othering isn't the same for everyone.

The 'black card'. My God

[bpisok]

But the OP is in London - you can't get a much more diverse city than that....we aren't talking about 'the only BAME in the village' (variant of the Little Britain sketch).

Whilst I do understand your concern all I can comment on my DDs school. Like a previous poster said it's multicultural, multi-religions and multi personality. Plus some have SEN some don't. Some don't speak English as a first language. Some are LBQT +. Some are tall and some are short. Some are clever and some aren't. Some are sporty. Some a pretty. They all mix. Go to each other's houses. Go to parties together. Parents talk to each other and are supportive.

[purifymymind]

@Home2018 100% spot on

[organiccoffee]

I think diversity is the key. I strong welcome mixture of BAME pupils in the school, but I DO mind if any minority race becomes a dominant majority, like the grammar school mentioned in the post above. I wouldn't send my DC to that school no matter how academically strong it is. I agree that the mixture should reflect the life of London.

[Legomadx2]

Very odd thread.

[PettsWoodParadise]

@organiccoffeeI wrote: I DO mind if any minority race becomes a dominant majority, like the grammar school mentioned in the post above. I wouldn't send my DC to that school no matter how academically strong it is
just to clarify when I said my DD was a minority as White British, the school is so diverse that virtually every group is a 'minority' as you have black, asian, mixed, white british, white EFL so no single group can dominate it is so mixed. I don't think that is wrong, I think it is rather beautiful. It definitely reflects the London I know.