Iam so angry!! Ds has ruined his work books.

[charlize]

Iam feeling soo angry with ds. I have just picked him up from rugby and When I opened the kit bag I so carefully packed for him this morning... His boots were missing. I asked him were they were and to my horror he replied OH they'll be in my other bag!
THe other bag has all his books in Maths Chemictry French. I opened the bag and his muddy boots and a leaking bottle of water have caused all his books to be a muddy waterlogged mess.

I have been livid with him and ranted on even swearing so now Iam feeling pretty guilty.
But Iam just so mad . He doesn't even seem bothered.
Iam sitting here now sweating cos i have switched the heating on to try to dry the bloody books.
I literally do everything but wipe ds ass for him and I can't follow him round school packing his bag for him.
I feel so mad but guilty for shouting .
Have i gone over the top?

[GRMUM]

how old is he charlize?

[Twiglett]

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[charlize]

He is 12 grmum. He only started secondery 2 weeks ago. But I feel he has no responsibility at all. Which is probably my fault.
I pack his bag every morning check on timetable exactlty what he needs and when... I fill in letters and He forgets to give them in even tho i remind him several times on the way to school.

I know at his age i was a lot more responsible but then I had to be because my mum just let me get on with it.
Twiglet They are not text books so I don't know if they will want us to pay, but they are his classroom writing and homework books and the ink has all ran and the covers are muddy and wet.

I have told him rather angrily that his teachers are going to go mad and he will be in trouble.
He doesn't seem too phased but although I hate the thought of him getting into trouble perhaps it will teach him a lesson.
I feel like giving him a big hug and telling him Iam sorry for shouting but he is probably expecting this and it will teach him nothing.

[agy]

Just stop doing everything for him. Finish drying the books out and then let him put up with them in the state they're in. The teachers will no doubt have words. And don't pack his bag for him anymore. If he's late because he hasn't packed it, then he'll learn, won't he! (I know its hard though)

[Twiglett]

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[daisy1999]

Do you realise your future daughter-in-law will hate you for bringing up yet another useless man .

[charlize]

Lol daisy I know I have thought that myself a few times.
When he was born I was going to make sure he was well trained , he would be ironing his own clothes by 10! None of it has happened .
I don't mind helping him but why oh why did he put muddy boots in the same bag as his books!!
Its not like I didn't give him another bag especially for the boots.

[Twiglett]

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[GRMUM]

thats why I asked charlize. I feel if the first thing you did is switch the heating on to dry them out he has no reason to see for himself the damage done.It is hard but I think in the long run its easier for you both if you try not to react and let him sort it out.IME the ranting and raving at this age onwards just causes them to switch of and listen to nothing!

It is hard to leave them to take the flak though ...

[daisy1999]

Charlize relax have a drink (a large one) and a nice hot bath. This time next week you won't even remember what happened (unless he does it again next week ).

[agy]

Has he got a proper boots bag? One with a zip, specially made for the job.

[LIZS]

If it is any comfort I'd feel similarly frustrated. I remember when I was about 14 my brother who is 4 1/2 years older than me came in from a club one night and knocked over a half drunk glass of squash onto my French text book. The teacher went bollistic in front of the whole class. Told me how disgusting it was to drink when doing homework, the full works. Had to replace book. Funnily enough it never happened again.

Can you write an apologetic note/email to his teacher and then let him take the consequences. Have to say even my 6 yr old is expected to be responsible for bringing his own book, communication wallet, homework and assorted sports gear to and fro without prompting (although I do think it is a lot to ask) so perhaps you need to ease off a bit and let him take some flak.

[charlize]

Yes agy, he has a proper boot bag which he actually had with him but for whatever reason he decided it would be much more fun to place boots in his book bag??? Along with a leaking bottle of water for good measure.
Daisy the glass of wine sounds good. Think I will go watch location on channel 4 now and try to calm down.

[charlize]

LIZs Ihave thought about writing a note but that wll perhaps be a cop out for him, I think he should deal with the flak and TRY to learn from it.
I don't want to make exuses for him It was a really silly thing to do and he has to take the punishment.