WHat would you do if your child's teacher told you that

[proudbutembarrassed]

you should get your child tested by Mensa and that he was extremely bright. Now I have always known he was bright and his teacher has always said that but until this week was always more measured. At parents evening she went a little over board.

She is an experienced teacher and is very highly thought of. I feel a little daunted by it all and when she said I was going to have to keep a close eye on him and get him extra stimulation otherwise things would not be rosy. SHe has said things in the past that in all her years teaching she had never.......

There are some very clever people in both sides of the family (skipped a generation I think) so I know it is possible that she is not exagerating but still I feel overwhelmed and daunted and wonder if I can ever do him justice. I came out feeling elated and then drained and unsure what to do . I'm rabling but if this makes sense to anyone would appreciate a reply.

I am a regular but have changed my name so you don't think I am bragging.

[lilolilmanchester]

I'd consider asking the MNetters on the G&T thread about their experiences?

[Hallgerda]

Would you get yourself tested by Mensa? I can't see a lot of point in knowing your child's IQ - it's just a number. However, I would be very pleased that the teacher is going to ensure your son has sufficiently challenging work to do at school. I'd concentrate on keeping his feet on the ground at home.

[coppertop]

How old is he? I think Mensa will only do IQ tests for children who are at least 10 or 11.

If he's old enough then it's worth asking your ds what he wants to do.

[Sparks]

I would ask her what she was planning to do to ensure he gets extra stimulation at school and is given work at his level. Isn't that the teacher's job to make sure that all the pupils are learning stuff and not getting bored?

[Peachy]

HOnestly? I would think that's great- I'm glad for my child. But i wouldn't touch Mensa for a kid, intelligence comes in ots of formats and formal IQ is but one tiny part of any child.

She sounds amazing but its important to be a kid, not an IQ on legs (not that I am suggesting you'd do that of course, but there are some funny poeple about)

[Bibis]

There was a child in the news in the last fortnight who has just joined mensa and s/he is only 2 years old wtf?

[Blandmum]

NAGTY might be a better place to look than Mensa

[coppertop]

Children under the age limit can still join Mensa (like the 2yr-old did) but it means that they have to find an Ed.Psych to test them. The EP then verifies the IQ and passes on the report.

Mensa is trying hard to do more for children but tbh there's not an awful lot designed for children atm.

[Peachy]

My old college lecturer was a coordinator of NAGTy and I would definitely say she was exactly the sort of eprson i'd want my kids in contact with- fabulous woman who really cared

[Sparks]

National Academy of Gifted and Talented Youth

[SomethingIncrediblyWitty]

Wow! I'd be chuffed to bits!
What do you mean 'so you don't think i am bragging'??? Won't people who know you be happy for you?
Talk to the G&T threaders and then you can get back here and tell us who you are so we can congratulate you properly.

[SueW]

I'd look into how I could stretch him - sideways rather than upwards. E.g. Violin lessons, piano lessons, look out for local youth orchestra, get him involved in lots of extra-curricular stuff including sport, art, drama, scouts/similar, etc.

There was nearly a falling out at a lunch I went to recently where one parent had campaigned hard to get her child accelerated a year and another parent, a teacher, said it was much better to go sideways than up.

[Blandmum]

I agree totaly with you sue, that breadth of experience is better than acceleration.

Often even very clever children cannot cope with the emotional demands of being with much older children. And eventually the school runs out of places to accelerate them!

Better to get an excellent understanding of the world as a whole, than A levels at 12 IMHO (ASD children might be a possible exception if they have a 'subject IYSWIM)

[proudbutembarrassed]

What Sue says is probably exactly right and that is what daunts me. I work, I don't drive and money don't grow on trees. The teacher did suggest Clubs and Museums. She won't have him anymore but she has had him for 2 years so she knows him well. His particular bent is Maths and Science and these are pretty alien to me. Not to mention the way they teach it now. he is 7 btw.

She also seemd to be warning me to keep an eye on his future teachers. She said things like 'When he is in yr 4 upwards the teacher will really need to know their stuff' and he already challenges her about the accuracy of what she is saying. One trainee teacher teaching him told me that he asks questions that she cannot answer and has to go look it up.

My love was sport so I try and push that a little and we do something structured once a week. Now I think that is way too little.

If I were a little more academic I think I would better deal with this. She did also say he has a great sense of humour and is very balanced.

[SomethingIncrediblyWitty]

May be a bit of a crap suggestion but is he interested in library books? If and when childrens books get too easy you could borrow adult ones for him. My dd2 found the childrens library books too dull and boring for her but read an adult's book about stick insects cover-to-cover. And sheis dyslexic so no mean feat either (there - i DO like to brag, hehehe )

[nooka]

That's what I was going to suggest. Raid the library - you should find lots of science and maths books that will appeal - often with projects and stuff to do that isn't necessarily expensive. You could also look at what local museums etc have on offer - again often free.

[popsycal]

recommend NAGTY too as a starting point

[popsycal]

Also, another suggestion for gifted and talented children is breadth of study rather than depth if that makes any sense. And go with areas that they are interested in.

[popsycal]

oh martian bishop already said that!
great minds...

[aintnomountainhighenough]

I wonder whether she is saying/warning you that perhaps she thinks the school can't cope with a child this bright. It might be worth investigating more and considering other routes. A friend of mine has a daugher who was in a secondary comp - the school recommended that they take her out of the school and attend a private school as they felt they couldn't offer what she needed.

[shimmy]

don't get Mensa myself. What good does being a member do a child? Just seems like a badge to wear saying 'I am clever.' So what?

You'd be better off going to a private ed psych for an assessment and some recommendations.

[MrsBadger]

NAGTY is a good idea, also NAGC

much better idea than Mensa

[Roastchicken]

Definitely agree with sideways rather than upwards, and don't emphasise to your son that he's 'gifted' or 'different' as that may just make him feel awkward. Social skills are at least as important as intellectual, but encourage reading and any interests. At risk of bragging, I was probably in a similar position to your son - a bright child from a v.normal background (later got a top first from Oxford). My parents never treated me any differently from my siblings, but encouraged us all with our schoolwork. I'd a v.happy childhood and am really glad that they treated me just as a normal child.

[Hathor]

what is the point of getting him tested by Mensa? Just to show how clever he is? You already know he is clever. Get on with finding him exciting and stimulating things to do. Ask his teacher how she is going to allow him to stretch himself in the class.

[proudbutembarrassed]

I think that is what I think about Mensa too. Had a quick scan of the NAG site. He has lots of the characteristics but does not concentrate but then I think he bores easily.

he also is quite obsessive about things Postman Pat as a baby and now Power Rangers. He will watch it continuously rewind and repeat sections continuously if let. This has always worried me a little. Also does not like to leave the house even to go to shops gets quite upset. He has been a difficult child in many ways and I do feel drained largely through dealing with things like his sleeplessness.

We were told by a PAed when he was a baby that he would be bright. I think I have always played it down a little as I suffered for being not accademic in an academic family and off course to have the last laugh and have a bright child seemed too muvh like karma.