Siblings at private senior schools

[Yatatata]

Hi there,

Looking quite far forward into the future here as mine are only little now, but just wondering - is it more common for siblings to attend the same private senior school as each other, or to go to different ones depending on their needs/abilities?

At prep level my younger one gets sibling priority to attend the same school, but with selection through exams at 11+ or Common Entrance at 13+ I guess it all changes then?

Sorry for my naivety, I was state educated and don't know anyone in RL who has been through it.

Thanks!

[beautifulgirls]

I personally look at the child and the fit. A couple of years ago I had my three children in three different schools because at the time they were the best fit for each child. I only have two schools between then currently but would not rule out going back to 3 when the youngest moves up to secondary as it will depend on what works best for her.

[Fifthtimelucky]

My two went to the same school and there were real practical advantages to that like being able to pass down school uniform, same concerts, generally knowing way round the school and sibling discount on fees! The school suited them both, but in slightly different ways.

It’s a girls’ school, and lots of girls have sisters there, but obviously any brothers have to go elsewhere. But I also know girls with sisters in different schools and I know some parents with children in three different senior schools.

[underneaththeash]

I have three at different schools, ds1 passed 11+ and he goes to the local grammar school, DS2 goes to a boys prep and DD a girls prep. DS2 doesn't want to go do 11+ and he has a slight learning issue anyway so it wouldn't be right for him, he'll go to an Indy secondary, the one he likes, we don't like the girls section....so they will always be at three schools.

If you are going to go down that route, make sure that the schools have a convenient bus route.

[WineBeforeCake]

Mine go to different schools. I feel I have finally got them into schools that exactly suit both of them (after a few house moves!)

The chances of two wildly different siblings getting exactly what they both need at senior are pretty slim I think - one or even both would have to compromise.

But two or three siblings that are closer in personality and ability would be fine in the same school.

The best thing about the independent sector is choice.

[BubblesBuddy]

Lots of people have same sex siblings in the same schools for all the advantages fifthtime mentions. Indeed co Ed too! I think a lot of schools can offer so much that most children are fine in them. You don't have to tailor a school exactly to a child or you will never be satisfied.

Mine boarded at the same school which had some very bright girls but others were more the A/B and the odd C category at GCSE. The extra curricular really did cater for everyone.

I think if you have super bright children or SEN ones you may need to split them up but if you children can get everything you and they reasonably want in one school, why make life difficult?

[Seeline]

Mine are at different schools because they are both at single sex schools, and I have one of each!

I would have looked at different schools for each of them anyway because they are so different in character/interests.

[Allthebestnamesareused]

Mine were at different schools (3 boys) as the school suited the particular child.

One was very sporty, one very academic and one was a good all rounder but had dyslexia and his school had better provision to support his sen.

If you want them to go to the same school you may end up compromising for both of them.

[Needmoresleep]

In London, selective private schools will have loose or non existent sibling policies, and it is very common for siblings, even same sex siblings, to go to different schools.

It really does not seem to make much difference. It is more important to find the right school for each child. DS' school took girls in the sixth form so DD ended up going there, though mainly because it was an easier journey. She liked the fact that teachers knew her brother, but equally probably would not have liked it if he had still been in the school.

[Yatatata]

Thanks for all your answers so far! I must admit it is something that has only really just occurred to me.

Luckily we should have a good range of options fairly locally for both of them, and in fact they'd probably only overlap for a couple of years at senior level so I suppose it won't really matter if they go to different places, logistics allowing. As long as one school isn't clearly way better than the other

[ChocolateWombat]

I think that in academically selective independents, siblings who are very marginal for a place might get the benefit of the doubt and squeak in, but siblings who perform more significantly below the standard simply won't get in. In the schools I know, every year, parents with siblings already in the school find their younger child hasn't made it. Often they will receive a phone call and not just a letter, as a courtesy.

[pallisers]

I would say it is pretty evenly split in my kids' classmates. We had them all at the same school until grade 9 and then they went to 3 different schools. Some of our friends have them all in the same school and some have them in different schools. We also know people where one child is in state school and one in private or one in boarding and the rest in private day schools. Where I live, there is a decided sibling preference - if you have one child in the school, it is highly likely the others will also be offered a place (they like to keep all the family money/donations/alumni donations focused on one school is my theory)

[Brie]

Mine have gone to different schools. There choice and I agreed. It is early days. They are both good schools but one more fancy than the other. I hope it works out.

[Aureservoir]

Mine are at / have been to different independent schools. They started out at the same one, as I was too lazy to think beyond whether we could walk there (and it was such a lovely school that there was no reason to look elsewhere), but secondary schools have been more match between child and school. Plus I am in favour of single sex, which automatically made a difference for mine! All have worked out very well.

[motherstongue]

The benefit of being fortunate enough to be able to afford a private education for your children is having choice. For some, their choice will be the convenience of having all siblings in the same school (and as said up-thread) there can be quite compelling reasons for this. (Same holidays, same end of term events, same sports day, same Speech days etc etc... Or for others the idea of choice is that each child will be catered for individually. Until your DC are older and you are in a particular set of circumstances you won't really know what would suit your family best. I personally went down the individual school for the individual child but since my DS chose to go to all boys senior school rather than co-ed, my DD was always going to go to a different school. I do think though from observing many other parents over the years deciding on senior schools is that a lot of thought is given to the first child and what school is best for them and that the remaining siblings quite often end up at the same school for the convenience sake. However, the families must be really happy with the school or this just wouldn't happen.