Dyslexic dd really struggling

[stevemolly]

I'm so angry my daughter who is 7 and by no means a pfb is really struggling at school since starting y3.

Her eldest sister who is now 17 has dyslexia, dyspraxia and dyscalculia - and she is showing all the same traits and signs.

She is having interventions and has seen the SENCO ( who was also eldest dd SENCO) who says she is almost certainly dyslexic and we just need official diagnosis of dyspraxia :(. Since October she is also suffering from regular vomiting usually during school hours and is now on medication for two months to see if it's reflux although the consultant thinks it could be anxiety.

I've just had her in floods of tears again as her teacher apparently sighs and huffs at her because her writing isn't neat and she can't get a pen license as she doesn't meet the national standard. She also misses golden time for not finishing her work.

I've spoke to school loads and I'm in an awkward position as I work in the school so speak to her teacher everyday as a colleague and feel very awkward complaining about her or to her but today she didn't even know dd had been sick, at hone time I asked if she had and she said no and dd pipes up that she has been in the sick bucket while they were doing science and we went to look and she had 😢.

I just don't know what to do she's gone from been really happy to saying she hates school , she knows all the stuff in her head she just can't put it on paper.

Why aren't they treating each child based on their skills rather than lumping them all in the same boat and punishing her for something she physically can't do.

[stevemolly]

[Traalaa]

Bloody pen licences. My DS never got one. You have my sympathy, steve!

Sounds like you're not getting anywhere with the teacher, so why don't you ask for a meeting and make it formal? Ask for the SENCO to be there too. You can be friendly rather than confrontational. Tell them that you're sure they don't realise how demoralised your DD is or how stressed and that's why you've asked for the meeting. That should shame the teacher and if she appears sympathetic, you can ask specifics. e.g.: on the golden time, handwriting. Ask SENCO what should happen for a dyslexic child? It doesn't matter that she's not formally diagnosed yet. They're admitting she has a problem, so diagnosis shouldn't make a lot of difference. Ask why whatever they suggest isn't happening for your DD. If they say she doesn't warrant anything, ask what they're intending to do to make her feel okay again about herself and school? No good teacher will want a child to feel like your DD is.
Also, check the school policies. They should have one which includes dyslexia and good practice on all of that. Are they doing what they say they will? Often schools don't. Hit them with that if you find they're failing. Don't let them be vague. You need specifics. Good luck though. I know how hard it is!

[fuckingwall]

I agree with Traalaaa. School don't need a diagnosis to provide support. A diagnosis is helpful to identify the specific areas of difficulty where she is struggling and to recommend the type of support that she needs. They don't need that to give her a pen, especially if they suspect dyspraxia. Has she tried any pens to help with her grip?

[dataandspot]

I remember the pen reward thing and I was born in the early 70s!!

[SalmonFajitas]

I do think you need to be really firm and advocate for your DD. If she's so anxious she's throwing up and being punished with losing golden time because of a learning disability (officially diagnosed or not) that is outrageous! I would echo Traalaa's proposed approach. You want to be firm but non-confrontational or angry. You might also have luck posting on the SN boards - lots of very knowledgable people there!