Private School kids' parents more likely to divorce?

[jasper]

Does anyone know if this is true?

Was speaking to someone at the weekend who vehemently insisted this was the case.

[LieselVonGiftwrapp]

No I think thats rubbish. Why would money/education make a difference.

[Heathcliffscathy]

lets wheel out all our stereotyping misconceptions: because they are more likely to be married in first place???

what a pile of old toss

[jasper]

The person concerned ( a very bright individual) was not making any value judgements about it at all nor did he have an explanation. He was stating it as a fact.

[sandyballs]

Financial pressure of paying for school fees possibly?

[WhenSantaWentQuietlyMad]

More financial options? No financial reason to stay together?

[trying2bgood]

does it really matter?

it might be though because a lot of parents who send their kids to private are not rich, they make sacrifices and other family members chip in - all of which probably puts strain on their relationship.

[Judy1234]

Some of the heads have given talks to parents been reported in the papers about maing more effort to stay together. It is possible I divorced because I could afford to... although it feels very expensive... I suspect you havew brackets ... feckless poor working class never in a proper relationship baby after baby, never married who split up on a fairly regular basis from the latest man. Dull (or nice or whatever) middle classes in the middle more likely to be stable. Richer lot who have always had a reasonably high divorce rate. If you're middle class and your only asset is your house and you only have one income and cannot afford two homes that's quite a disincentive to part particularly if one of you will end up on state benefits.

Even so in our private school in both twins' classes I am the only single parent at all which I think is unusual. No one else is single, except now someone whose husband died this year. A few are second marriages.

[ParanoidSurreyHousewife]

What a bizarre "fact". No idea how one would find out whether it is true. In ds1's Yr 1 class there are no parents who have separated from each other but several (as I discovered at our Christmas dinner!) who are on their second marriage. So in my very small goldfish bowl I would say that more private school parents have had "starter marriages" than average. There seemed to be a trend to marry at 21 divorce by 25, remarry at 28-30, have kids in mid 30s. But that is just our class. I do know that one child in Year 2 has parents who have divorced, but it doesn't seem to be that common at primary level anyway.

[Heathcliffscathy]

what was the study sample?

what was the control?

[marimoo]

I taught at a private school for a while a few years ago. I found that divorced / single parents were very much in the minority. A very high percentage of the parents were still together, so I don't know where your friend got his information! Parents splitting up seemed (in my opinion) more common in the state sector.

[BethleCAM]

psml at the concept of "starter marriages" as if you then upgrade like house buying

Oh hang on a minute, me and dh are each other's second spouses

In my dd's private school most parents are married, a smaller number are on their second marriage and we have a very small minority of divorced parents.

However this year there have been two high-profile separations-awaiting-divorced couples plus a third.

So the pace appears to be hotting up

[Festivefunfilledfennel]

It's probably due to all that flirting that goes on while tottering around lakes in high heels quaffing wine.

It's just not the same in state school playgrounds surrounded by urban grunge.

[BethleCAM]

[Judy1234]

Champagne please.....
And I'm more likely to be stuck in thick mud on a rugby patch actually...

[hulababy]

No idea. never heard the statistic. In DD's PP1 class (reception age) there are no single or seperated parents. I'll let you know how that stands in 7 years when she finishes prep!

[drosophila]

Well the only person I know well who is sending their kids to private school has recently been seperated from her husband. The financial pressure of private school was the main reason for the split. Him not able to tell her that they could noy afford it and her head in the sand attitude. Ironically she does cannot divorce him as that would mean selling the house and she is still trying to maintain a lifestyle that is way beyond her means. Granny and Grandad are now paying fees but that is a subject for a whole other thread. There are a number of grandchildren but only two are getting this financial support.

[anemone]

I can't let this one go - It makes me as my grandma (born 1910) lost her dad before she was born and some kids she knew weren't allowed to play with her because their parents thought she was illegitimate. My parents were divorced, my mum on her own in this country. I never experienced prejudice, she said she did. Now I know mums of mu age who are weird about telling their kids 'little X's parents are divorced', because they seem to think it's... what? contagious? Evil? "More common in the state sector?" New century, old prejudices. Can we move on please?

[marimoo]

To clarify my message, my experience was that divorce was more common in the state schools than the private schools that I worked in. I do not think there is anything wrong with divorce or single parents. In fact I think many single / divorced people do a better job with bringing up their children than some of the married couples that I know!

[DominiConnor]

If it's true, my guess is not that private schools "cause" divorces, but that they share causes with things like whether both parents work, or the educational level of the couple which do cause different rates of divorce.

It's also worth remembering that "correlate" is not diurectional like "cause". We ought to ask whether people in rocky marriages are more likely to send their kids to private school if they can.
My observation from the school gate is that private parents are on average a lot older.

Correlation works both ways.

[notanotter]

plus are we talking primary/secondary?

this study probably would be based on the latter as mre marriages have failed in second ten years than first

Private lot all think the grass is always greener and that they are a cut above so 'yes' its probably true that they ditch their spouses for a better/wealthier/higher social standing model

[Judy1234]

Probably more children from single parent families in the state sector. Perhaps the very rich are more likely to part in my view because they can afford it. Those in the middle more likely to stick together.

[Judy1234]

not, most divorces are initiated by women (70%) who have no one else lined up. Men tend to divorce only when they've found someone else but they aren't initiating most divorces. I divorced and there was no one else involved. It was nothing to do with finding anyone better.

[QuootiepieTheNewYearsAss]

I was privatly educated (up until the school went VA) and.... my parents divorced funnily enough!

[CAMsy]

anemone, interesting point. However I think it can be generally underestimated how much a divorce affects children - I know that when it has happened in my dd's school, the children have been adversely affected.