Two very different girls....WWYD?

[elltee]

I have two DDs, just finishing Y4 and Y1 respectively. We live in SE London. DD1 is moderately dyslexic in ways that mean it's unlikely she would do well in entrance tests for eg grammar school or any local private option. I would rather spend y5-6 supporting her to get as much out of primary school as possible than tutoring for tests where she's at a significant disadvantage.
DD2 is academically bright, able, at the same school which while good is not a honeypot school with lots of high achievers. I have been wondering whether to move her to a prep school or similar at 7+ but feel very conflicted about it. Any thoughts?

[Lonecatwithkitten]

You seem to equate dyslexic with not academic. Have you had DD1's potentially measured with CAT testing. Many dyslexics are really very bright, but need guidance in how to achieve their potential.

[morethanpotatoprints]

I had 2 very different children almost identical to yours. They went to the same school, they were both fine.
I'll agree that with dyslexia it needs guidance and some strategies for them to reach potential, but they can be very bright.

[midnightvelvetPart2]

I would wait for a bit & start considering the private route for DD2 when she is in Year 4/5, I wouldn't move her yet as Yr1 is way too early for academic potential to be clear. Round these parts its normal for pupils to make the switch to private in Year 5 if there is a senior school attached, as the entrance requirements differ from Year 5 to entering new at Year 7.

If you do move her to private then be aware that DD1 may feel as though she's too stupid to go to the same school with DD2, & is not good enough & has to attend the 'worse' school.

[elltee]

Lonecat - no, I have not 'written off' DD1 as not academic - I think she is really very able - but on the measures used by most schools at this age she does not perform well. Spelling, times tables, number bonds all wobbly to bonkers but built a model of the solar system off her own bat, writes imaginative and original stories and loves to draw and design. This kind of highlights the conflict I'm feeling - I think that the state system will support her better - but the reaction I get from peers feels like whaat! You don't think she's worth spending money on!

[fleurdelacourt]

we're SE London as well....

If DD1 is dyslexic and not getting the support she needs, I think my focus would be there? There are a number of independent schools which have excellent dyslexic support - and if you move her now to a school that goes through to 18, you avoid the whole year 5-6 nightmare?

If DD2 is bright then maybe she's ok where she is? Or move her with dd1 and see how she gets on? You could then move her again at 11 if you wanted?

[mummytime]

Also if DD1 is struggling with her dyslexia, there are specialist independent schools which you could send her to for a few years and really boost her academic attainment.

[selly24]

Have you considered boarding?
Windlesham and Bredon spring to mind..?

[Duckdeamon]

Do you have an ideal education in mind for DD1, and are there schools around (or that you'd be willing to move for) that might fit the bill?

If your plan is to keep DD1 in state schools throughout her education it seems unfair IMO to educate DD2 privately. If however there is a good private secondary with a good reputation and approach/support services for dyslexia then a different private school for DD2, perhaps with her leaving state school earlier than her sister to prepare for entry tests, seems more reasonable.

I have heard some horror stories from parents about highly selective private schools and dyslexia.

[elltee]

Thanks all for your suggestions. To be clear, I don't want to move DD1 - she is happy and thriving where she is with support in place after we got a proper assessment last year.

Bottom line, there were no local private schools that we considered worth the cost interested in taking her when we looked last year - she has problems with both maths and literacy so not an appealing prospect I suspect. Not bothered about it now, tbh. Nothing within striking distance that has proper dyslexic support credentials.

So my question really is about DD2 - and like you duckdeacon I feel it's not fair to give one child something massively different to their sibling. But you should see the reaction when I tell some people where our kids go to school - it's their preconception, not mine - but I do end up doubting my choices. And I do mean my choices - DH is pretty much incapable, partly because after he went to a (state) boarding school at 10 his parents had very little involvement in any aspect of his education. He just says "Whatever you think best...." thus neatly leaving me solely responsible although he might dispute this analysis

[fleurdelacourt]

You know, if your kids are happy where they are and your dd1 is supported and thriving, then I wouldn't mess with it at all? Who cares what other people think? Petty prejudices have no impact on the education your kids are getting?

I would however be looking into the options at 11? I don't know where you are in SE London, but there are a number of independent schools who offer dyslexic support at secondary level - I'd be speaking to them now if I were you?