Sports teacher talking to other parents behind mine and DD's back

[Rosetti]

I have just been informed by other parents that when my DD joined her new school in September on a sports scholarship (she was 11 - year 7) the Sports teacher was slagging her off behind her and my backs at sports fixtures. This woman was saying she didn't see what all the fuss was about and that my DD was no better than anyone else in the team and she has no idea why she had special coaching. We had noticed (as had others) that my DD was never mentioned once in match reports despite scoring masses of goals whilst others were and that she was never given player of the match. The fact is before she went to the school they won hardly anything and since she joined they have won every tournament. The parents who told me said they have only told me now as this teacher has completely reversed her opinion of my DD and now sees her as very talented.
However, the damage has been done - I am extremely upset to think that for two terms whilst I was at the side of the pitch this woman was saying nasty things to the other parents watching about my DD whilst she was playing her best and winning. I am not sure how to handle this situation - I feel I can't do nothing as it was mean and unprofessional. I had wanted to go into the school several times about her never being in match reports but decided not to as I didn't want to appear pushy.
Any ideas on what to do??

[ginmakesitallok]

I'd forget about it to be honest. In the grand scheme of things it's really not a big deal

[onedev]

Id have to do something, as I'd not rest until I did! Likely id make an appt to speak to the sports teacher & tell her how disappointed & angry you are at what the other parents have told you was said & that from now in you expect her to act as the professional she is, & if she doesn't then you'll be speaking to the Head.

I would try to finish on a positive note however (depending on her attitude) as ultimately you want to have a good (or at least non-tense) relationship with her.

Good luck & well done your DD

[ihearsounds]

I would report it. She should keep her opinions to herself and not be talking to other parents. That is extremely unprofessional of her.
In some schools this would be gross misconduct. Others a permanent warning on her file.

[senua]

Who awarded the scholarship? It seems strange to badmouth your own appointee.

[Rosetti]

the scholarship was given by headteacher and the head of sport from the senior school - sports teacher's boss effectively. I knew she had problems with feeling she was being left out of coaching decisions etc but I used to speak to her about what was happening. I wish I hadn't now knowing what she was saying about us!!

[nenevomito]

That's massively unprofessional of her. I'd be tempted to report too tbh. If she behaved like that about your DD she could do the same to the next child who gets a scholarship.

[IndridCold]

What are your real motives and what actual outcome are you expecting? Do you think she (the teacher) will be punished, or will the head just have a quiet word about being discrete in front of parents? If the teacher has now recognised your DDs talent I would leave well alone, all that is likely to happen is that you could sour your DDs relationship with this teacher once again.

This teacher's behaviour sounds rather unprofessional, but if she has acknowledged her mistake to other parents then she can't be all bad. I would let your (very understandable!) anger go, and if the opportunity to have a bit of a dig crops up in the future, then go for it!

[happygardening]

I don't see how you can report this as other parents have told you rather than you hearing it for yourself. The teacher could deny it and then what will you or the school do? You say she's changed her tune now as the team's have had two successful terms I would let it go what would reporting it now achieve? She clearly misjudged your daughters ability which she shouldn't have done but obviously now realises she made a mistake. Rather than inflame the situation again move on.

[Rosetti]

thank you all for replying - I hadn't really thought about what I wanted to achieve or where it would go but you are right I need to. I think I was just so upset at hearing what had happened. We only have another year with her as she doesn't teach in the senior school, at that point head of sport will take over. My DD only goes back to school next week so I have a few days to think!

[lljkk]

Weird. I can understand how miffed you feel.

But agree I'm not sure what you hope to get out of this, given that you now think the gossipy-coach has come round to liking your DD. It doesn't sound like any harm was done. The coach has been publicly proven wrong in her opinions, no? That's punishment enough, I would have thought.

[DeWe]

I would also query why the other parents told you. If a teacher said that to me, I would be taking it up with the head of sports straight away, not going and telling the other parent.
Telling the other parent (particularly now when it seems to have been resolved) is going to do nothing except cause bad feeling and potentially sour the relationship between you and school. Maybe that's what the other parent wanted.

The thing is you don't know exactly what was said-and how it's potentially been twisted to tell you.

[wheresthebeach]

I too understand why you are upset but everything is fine now so I'd let sleeping dogs lie. Inflaming it now will not help your dd and may in fact cause her problems. God alone knows why the other parents told you this now - what were they hoping to achieve apart from upsetting you? Best to smile at them and not show that they've succeeded in upsetting you.