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Grammatically correct?

(8 Posts)
JordanBaker Fri 23-Sep-11 16:36:31

Is it incorrect to write 'I started walking towards the trees, the call of exotic birds ringing in my ears'? I'm sure it's correct, but DS's teacher has corrected it to 'was ringing in my ears'. If it's right, can anyone tell me what the tense is (e.g. past continuous or something).

I wouldn't usually be so pedantic, but in the same piece of writing she has corrected his spelling of 'squawking' from 'squaking' to 'squarking'. And she has also written that 'the island was starting to loose it's appeal' shock

CrosswordAddict Fri 23-Sep-11 16:43:48

I would certainly rewrite but as follows:
As I started walking towards the trees, the call of exotic birds was ringing in my ears.
OR
I started walking towards the trees, with the call of exotic birds ringing in my ears.
BUT
If you follow the teacher's version then you have a comma splice (as markers call it) and really should split it into two separate sentences with a full stop.
The final phrase is more worrying as teacher has made two very basic errors within two words : "lose its appeal" would be correct (as you already know)
All rather worrying to put it mildly sad

Tinuviel Fri 23-Sep-11 18:37:23

The original isn't grammatically incorrect - it's fine to use a present participle like that. Another example would be "Texting rapidly, I returned to my car." As Crossword said, her version is a comma splice and definitely incorrect.

Can't believe 'loose it's appeal' - that's appalling. I wouldn't be impressed but then I am generally quite very pedantic!

2kidsintow Fri 23-Sep-11 21:20:41

The first example was perfectly acceptable. The teacher's errors in basic spelling etc are not.

I would call it to her attention, or failing that, to that of the head.

As a teacher, I'm sure I've made one or two errors in my career, but not several in one piece of work.

Lol...sorted for end of year present for the teacher (should you feel inclined that way)...a dictionary!

YummyHoney Sat 24-Sep-11 09:13:59

Crossword addict is correct. The teacher is clearly not very intelligent wrong.

Let's hope this teacher doesn't add to the nation's worries by going on strike. I don't really want to fund his/her better-than-mine pension. smile

JordanBaker Sat 24-Sep-11 15:15:48

Thanks for your replies. DS is 9 and dyslexic, but not severely so. We're working hard on his spelling (using Word Wasp) and punctuation, so I find his teacher's errors particularly irritating.

I'll speak to her about it on Monday.

BrigitBigKnickers Sat 24-Sep-11 16:18:54

There is absolutely nothing wrong with your DS's sentence.

The word started in the first clause in being used as an auxilliary verb, the second adjectival clause does not really also need an auxilliary verb (was) and as others have said- using the teachers suggestion of an additional was would need the punctuation to be changed to two sentences- which does rather lose the descriptive impact of the sentence your son wrote (rather a good one for a 9 year old I have to say!)

CocktailQueen Sat 24-Sep-11 16:22:30

'I started walking towards the trees, the call of exotic birds ringing in my ears' is perfectly fine, and a lovely sentence smile

Your teacher's mistakes are horrendous!! shock

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