scissor stabbing in year 2: appropriate punishment?

[FrenchSorciere]

My friend's ds (in year 2 - let's call him D) was attacked by a classmate (A) last week in the classroom: D was sitting on his chair whilst the class was doing some activity, and A decided to go and sit where D was. D didn't get up quickly enough so A took some scissors and stabbed D in the face with them, only missing the eye. D is left with a mark under the eye. All witnesses agree that A's attack was unprovoked by D.
A was not asked to apologise to D. D's parents were called to take him home (they had to insist strongly so that the head would meet them on the same day to discuss the incident), and A was sent home as well. The following day was a class outing and A was allowed to go both by his parents and the school. No further action taken against A (apart from note on his file I guess) as it is the first incident on his file so far.
A is known by many other parents as a troublemaker, he has been nasty to dd verbally several times last year (dd doesn't go to this school anymore), but I didn't complain formally, maybe I should have done?
Is the lack of punishment acceptable for that type of incident in your opinion? Very curious to find out as I am personnally outraged by the school's inaction.

[Aimsmum]

Message withdrawn

[Pinotmum]

Based on the facts you hve given I'd want this taken further.

[gigglinggoblin]

he has been excluded for a day, that will go on his file. if it was the first incident i dont see what else they can do tho. my son was involved in a pencil stabbing incident (he was attacked unprovoked but stabbed back and broke the boys skin). both of them were excluded for the day and a close eye kept on them from then on

[FrenchSorciere]

to me this seems a very serious incident indeed, be it the first reported on file or not. Witnesses are clear about what happened, so I cannot understand why the head won't make A apologise formally, and why he was allowed to go on the school trip like everyone else. I also know that another boy in the class had been asked by the teacher a few days before to 'go and sit next to A to keep an eye on him'. They know he's trouble. This is a private school with only 10 boys in the class. What message is that sending to other pupils and parents?

[Passionkiller]

OMG if this happened at DD's private school I'd be stright in to see the head. If not resolved to my satisfaction and we're talking assesment for behavioural disorders / permanent exclusion I'd remove my kids from the school. Absolutely no question.

[gigglinggoblin]

sorry, i read that as the head made him apologise, that should definately have been done. if they know he is trouble i am rather shocked that assessment for behavioural difficulties has not yet started. and i would really not be happy if my child had been asked to keep an eye on one of his classmates! tbh i think the teachers are the main problem here.

i still would not have stopped a child going on a trip tho because of one incident. i do agree it was serious but there are lots of other avenues they should be going down. how do you know they are not doing anything else?

if a parent has major concerns about this child i think they should report it to the head, tho i think personally i would be questioning the staff aswell

[FrenchSorciere]

well, I spoke to D's mother today and if anything is being done about A then they haven't been told about it.
One of the many reasons we took dd out of this school is because of the new head's talent for protecting bullies without sorting out any behavioural issues they might have, and letting the victims suffer... or leave. It is not the first time she hasn't addressed this type of problem fully.
I agree that the teacher is also at fault to the extent that she asked another boy to keep an eye on A. I do not think she could have stopped the 'attack' though.

[RottenRhubarb]

Geez Passionkiller, a little harsh don't you think? Behavioural disorders? Permanent exclusion? These are just children you know, what about second chances?

I would be unhappy too and would consider moving my child to another class. However, I don't really see what other punishment could be metered out. The parents were informed, the child sent home. It is rather rude of the parents of A not to apologise themselves for his behaviour. But I should imagine that all the teachers have been informed and a close watch kept on the little horror. What more can you do?

[gigglinggoblin]

i dont think you would be told tho, they are probably not allowed to discuss another childs punishment.

ds was bullied at his last school (not private) and the head ignored the situation. i wish i had gone to the lea about it but the head has since retired so there isnt much point now. we were moving aswell so he had to leave the school anyway. i was rather glad as his teacher was rubbish too, never did anything to encourage them, all feedback was negative.

i am shocked that this situation can occur at a private school. i thought the point was that the lower child:teacher ratios meant they were better looked after. i would consider going over the head to someone who can help but that would probably make the situation quite awkward.

i do feel a bit sorry for the attacker aswell, my ds was a real handful when he started and it is only because the teachers at his new school have put in so much effort that he is now doing so well (and he is doing brilliantly). this little boy may need help to control himself and will not get it with the attitude the head is displaying. complaining might help everyone

[FrenchSorciere]

thanks for your responses by the way. I think the head is weak and displaying no leadership qualities. My friends have written to the head of the senior school and to governors as well I believe. They will move D to another school for the next school year anyway as this was not their first choice, but in the meantime D needs to feel safe.

[Passionkiller]

Don't think I'm harsh. I don't think a year 2 attacking another child with sissors is normal behaviour and the whole point of private is that you don't have to put up with this sort of thing.

I will now run away before I'm shot down in flames.

[FrenchSorciere]

gigglinggoblin, I am glad your ds has now moved to a better school and doing well, it's sad for all children when heads are not up to the job

[RottenRhubarb]

I work in a private school, and believe me when I say that my children will NEVER attend a private school.

Regardless of the type of school anyway, you mustn't label A's behaviour, he needs to be given the chance to redeem himself. Of course every child should feel safe and this was a serious incident, but as someone else has pointed out, his punishment would not be common knowledge and for all we know, his parents probably punished him at home too.

[FrenchSorciere]

Are you still at Tivoli Rhubarb?

[kuoni]

If I were D?s parents, I would want to know what steps the school had taken since this incident to ensure that my child was safe in the classroom and that it was not going to happen again.
By removing the child for the rest of the day and then readmitting with no visible follow up seems crazy.
In their defense, maybe the school has discussed it at length with A and their parents, just not told D and parents about it.
Being a private school matters not at all - but lower class numbers makes this incident even more horrifying.
Letter to governors and massive fuss making would occur if we were D?s parents. Would not let it be covered up and pushed under the carpet at any cost.

[RottenRhubarb]

Errrr, yeah, do you know it then? Great school, fantastic!

[FrenchSorciere]

yes, worked there for a year when I was a student, hated it!!

[FrenchSorciere]

kuoni, quite agree with you there, and they will make a fuss if there is no progress