Teaching at your child's school. Anyone done it?

[FrameyMcFrame]

I'm planning to send my daughter to the school I currently teach in. I'm only in there one day a week as a music teacher so I won't actually be her form tutor or anything.
I'm wondering if there are any positives and or negatives to doing this and if anyone else out there has been in the same situation.

Please share your wisdom. :)

[inkyfingers]

Shouldn't be a problem at all. Maybe your daughter will object but TBH she won't be bothered after 2 days.

Positives is you see the school from the inside and really get to know it. Downside is teaching own child or child's friends, but in a large school you won't be on top of each other. Most parents in this situation allow their kids space and it's v. unprof (as you know!) to check up on them at break or ask what they want for tea. She'll be grateful if you quietly ignore her and staff/pupils will appreciate that you're not fussing about your own child while at work.

Pupils find teachers and parents fairly boring which is a real help!

[SE13Mummy]

My child is at 'my' school but it's only a few hundred metres from our home and is a local primary school. She's only in Y1 (and I teach KS2) so it's not been a problem yet but I doubt it will be; a number of the teachers have had their children go through the school and, as it's a 2-form-entry school things have been arranged so no teacher ever teaches their own child (except in an emergency situation).

DH is a secondary teacher and says a number of his colleagues have their DC at the school. He'd be quite happy for our DCs to go there in time to come.

[FrameyMcFrame]

thanks for your replies.

SE13mummy, how do you cope with parents evenings etc?

[Serendippy]

My cousin is a teacher in her DD's school. Her DP goes to parents' evening. She says that if she has to do it because DP can't, she makes sure she goes at an allocated time like everyone else and does not just accost the teacher in the corridor!

[cazzybabs]

I do but it is private school

You have to bite your tongue at parent's evening

You have to bite your tongue when out with other parents

Other parents see fit at parties to moan at you

They expect your child to be bright and well behaved

They expect your child to be given star parts because of who you are

I suffer from house envy

but yes you know the disadvantages but better the devil you know and I can see my child in school and I can attend things like sports day/assemblies/plays

plus no other way we could afford private school

[SE13Mummy]

With parents' evenings my DH goes as I'm usually tied up with my own class.

With assemblies either one of us tries to go or else we ask the nanny to take DD2 along. As DD1 is in a different key stage from me I don't automatically get to see her nativity etc. and this year's will clash with something my class are doing. I went to the dress rehearsal of an assembly she was in (on my day off) and will be doing a PPA swap with a colleague in order to see the nativity she's in. Sometimes it's possible but not always.

[GrimmaTheNome]

My mum taught at my primary school and dad at secondary - he taught me chemistry in the 2nd and 6th forms there.

Really not a problem, except mum wasn't keen on me having friends round to our house.

[MmeBlueberry]

My daughters are at the school I teach in, and I teach one of them. I have taught 2 of them in the past.

It is fine, although not perfect. As with anything, there are advantages and disadvantages.

If you are in a big school, then you can be completely separate. The other students need never know.

I have said to my daughters that if anyone ever whinges about me, they are just to respond, "try living with her". You also have to have a pact to never betray confidences, and mean it. For example, I am very gung-ho about parents being their daughters' facebook friends so that they can keep an eye, but I am not my DD's friend because it would put her classmates in an awkward position (DH is her friend, though, as well as her older brothers).

[FrameyMcFrame]

Thanks for all the replies, we'll see how it goes. It's a great school and I think DD will do well there.

[chocolatecustard]

DS was in my class and then at my school for 6 yrs after. It wasn't always easy for either of us. Pitfalls were; any misdemeanour was highlighted by staff. Parents expected him to be squeaky clean all the time. He didn't really have any best friends, he did get invited to play but I found it difficult to reciprocate. It was frowned upon to socialise with parents out of school. I was told I didn't need a parents evening appointment as I knew he was doing ok. Advantages were; I got to do the school run! Holidays were no problem, I never missed school plays or sports day and I got big discount (independent school) He went on to do exremely well so it was worth it. I told him I wasn't Mum at school and he remembered not to call me Mum. A couple of staff still have their DC at school and they sometimes pander to them which gets negative comments from other staff. I also think some staff resent teaching their kids, shouldn't happen but it does :(

[AuntieBulgaria]

My dad was my art teacher at secondary school. I didn't mind it too much as he was a reasonably popular member of staff. I think I might have felt differently if he'd've been 'stinker Stephenson' or universally hated Mr Wild. I had friends round. When we were out of school, dad was just dad.

I don't know what it was like for him, but I didnt feel like i was treated differently by him or any other member of staff as a result. There were at least 2 other kids in my year with teacher/parents so it didn't feel too odd.

We fell out for a while over my A level art mocks. I thought I knew better. I didn't. Pulled it back round for my finals though. And maybe didn't mind him being my teacher too much because I knew he was the best art teacher in the school (nay, the world.)

[sameschoolteacher]

I wouldn't worry too much

[sameschoolteacher]

Ok, namechange worked! Phew


Right, I really don't think you need to worry too much if you are only in there one day a week.

I have always worked in DS's school, I'm the SENCO and this year I also work in his class a lot, alongide his teacher, with a special needs child.

I would be lying if I said it hasn't put a strain on our relationship, but only this year with me being in the same class as him four mornings a week.

Benefits:

I know he is ok, I know he is happy in school and has friends

I get to see him in his 'school mode', which is very different to how he is at home

I get to give him quick hugs and smiles and winks

He likes it, I know it gives him a certain level of security.

I know his teachers very well so trust them

I'm there for all the plays, assemblies, milestones, sports days etc etc

I don';t forget important dates like I do with beavers

Negatives:

I worry DS doesn't get any freedom or escape from me, psychologically, although I don't think he sees it that way.

I don't do parents evenings, the teacher and I just regularly have informal chats about his progress as well as discussing other pupils.

When he misbehaves it is hard, sometimes I think I am harsher on him than I would be on another child for doing the same thing simply because of the emotional bond.

Sometimes parents of his friends ask me questions that I can't answer, or want to know about their kids. Luckily DS is popular in the school and has friends that he sees a lot outside of school.

Sometimes parents of his friends ring me at work to ask if I will take little Johnny home with me.

I switch off mum mode when I am at work and try to just see him as a child in the school.

[FrameyMcFrame]

Thanks chocolatecustard, AuntieBulgaria and sameschoolteacher, it seems as though the biggest pitfalls could be other parents and the blurring of the roles of parent and teacher.

I feel it's a massive decision to make, moving schools in the middle of the year but the place just came up and she was top of the waiting list. Really hope I'm doing the right thing.

[chocolatecustard]

Sorry to disagree sameschoolteacher but how can you 'switch off mum mode' when you say you 'get to give him quick hugs and cuddles' IMO this is where teaching at the same school gives your own children an unfair disadvantage/advantage. If you don't make a definite boundary between being mum and teacher there will be problems. parents ringing to get you to take their child home is taking advantage of you. Our headteacher is very critical of teachers being called on for this sort of thing.
It's not easy, I once had a parent ring me at home for over an hour to tell me how unfair the school had been in regard to her child. I could not be rude but had to be very careful with my response. Just be aware of the problems. As I said it worked out fine for us but I have a sensible, mature and level headed child who understood the situation. He enjoys his independent life at a different school now. Good luck FrameyMcFrame

[Catnao]

I have always taught at my son's school - he is now in year 6, and I think I feel like the reception mummies who are sending their babies into reception - my baby going to school without me!!

I have never taught him. My HT and I agreed I would not teach year 4 when he was in it, or year 5.
Hardly ever seen him at school, except to yell at him and others when he's been an idiot, I mean challenging, on playground duty. He did once say to me at home "Miss X, please can I have a drink?"

Also, as we live in the village where I teach, he has always had friends back here and I have never had a problem differentiating between Catnao at home and Miss X at school.

His dad goes to parents' evening.

Only issue I have had this year is that mums who are my friends have been phoning me at home to talk about their kids - but even then I have been able to say -"tell you waht - come in and see me tomorrow AT WORK and we can have a chat..." I have year 1 this year and the mums and dads seem more antsy about things than previously when I taught in UKS2.