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Baby number 2 as a single mother

(3 Posts)
INeedNewShoes Tue 13-Mar-18 12:38:07

I had my DD via IUI with donor sperm in May last year.

I had only ever planned to have one, due to the conception process being a logistical faff and due to finances, and due to wondering how I would cope as a single parent.

I know there will be hard phases to come, but I have absolutely loved being mum to my baby who is now ten months old and have coped absolutely fine, admittedly with some wonderful support from friends and family.

All along, if I had found a husband, I would have planned to have two children. Now I'm starting to think that I would still like to have two children even though I am a single mum. I would like DD to have a sibling for her sake both as a child and someone to share any burdens as adults (though I'm sincerely hoping that I can limit how much of a burden I become!).

I have niggling doubts though: I feel so lucky to have DD and that she arrived safely and that we're both healthy and enjoying life. She has been a relatively 'easy' baby, sleeping well from early on and being a delight to be mum to. I suppose I'm scared of rocking the boat, and the worry of introducing stress into our lives if baby number 2 were to have issues.

I have always thought a lot about everything I do so no decisions are ever made lightly and am prone to giving possibly too much weight to the 'what ifs'.

Are there any women here who have chosen to have subsequent donor conceived children and would be willing to chat with me to see if I can talk myself to a place where I am clearer about what I want to do!?

OutComeTheWolves Tue 13-Mar-18 13:34:28

This isn't a massively helpful reply, but my close friend is in exactly the same position as you except her little girl is 2. She weighed everything up and decided to go for it. Unfortunately she's not on MN so I can't point her in the direction of this thread.

TreasureInMyTummy Tue 20-Mar-18 19:23:37

Newshoes! Hello it's hoping for a little one but I lost my password and then somehow resigned in under this name.

I used to follow you when I was just starting my journey last year and loved seeing pic of your little one it gave me hope.

I'm also single and now in love with my amazing four month son. We've had colic and some hard nights but lots of family support and I feel so blessed.

I want a sibling for my son. I had hoped I might meet someone post pregnancy but I'm realising I'm not meeting many single men - mostly other mums with babies and occasion (married) father.

So before I get too old I'm already thinking I will try and use same donor sperm to try again. I'm going to finish maternity leave and go back to work so I have a bit of time to figure all the details out but I'm pretty certain I want another baby ( I would love four but I'm already 35 so thinking would be extremely lucky if I'm able to have a second) x

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