Childcare arrangement & how to tell the kids

[Loracina]

Hi, I'm going through a divorce after years of a very unhappy marriage. I feel my husband emotionally abused me, especially since our son was born and would frequently say I'm a bad mother, I'm worthless and that my son would be better off without me. These are just minor examples, it has been awful and he makes me feel like the worst person in the world.

I'm so scared about telling my son about the separation, and my husband keeps saying I'm destroying my son's life because I asked for the divorce (I can't live like this anymore!).

He is refusing to accept 50/50 custody and says he needs to have our son more often because I work too much and can't look after my son properly. He says if I refuse to accept his 70/30 arrangement he will take me to court and spend all our savings on solicitors. He is also saying he won't go to mediation about this.

Has anyone been through something similar? Trying to agree on a reasonable childcare arrangement and also how to tell the kids - I'm scared that this will negatively affect my son and he will think I left him (I will be the one moving out to a new house and husband will keep the family home)

Thank you x

[PotteringAlong]

Firstly, make sure all your savings are not in a joint account so he can’t get to them.

Get a solicitor and ask for mediation - it won’t look good for him if he has refused and The court will want you to have tried first.

[PotteringAlong]

And don’t move out of the house!