Hi this is my first time posting and I'll try and keep it brief. Although I think it will be a long post, I just need some advice because I feel so alone in my head I'm starting to have bad thoughts and feel so weak in the mind.
I had a partner, Only man I had been with, since the age of 15, I am now 39! We have 2 children. We had a good and bad relationship. He was quick to get angry, very manipulative during arguments, which would be about the smallest thing. I was scared at times. He cheated twice I knew of, but this man was all I knew and we did have a good life, took the children travelling, festivals, normal family activities. He was such an amazing dad.
I fell out of love but carried on for years
2 years ago, I ended the relationship because he took too many drugs and spent all our money. Would go out and not come home until next day. Anyway I Agreed to go camping 2 days after ending it, with friends to keep it normal for the children which had been planned for some time.
He had a brain hemorrhage while we were camping and then in hospital suffered a stroke. Thankfully he didn't die which was what we were told was going to happen from all the complications he had. He has recovered well but there is a personality change, he is so calm, not argumentative one bit, I love and care for him so much so stayed by his side....then in march 2019 my beautiful nephew took his own life. This broke me and my family. My whole world was crumbling and then in August last year I decided to leave him again, when he needed me the most, the person I had spent my whole life with for another man who I work with. It's been so fast moving. I don't think I know what I'm doing. I feel like I've lost my whole world and I miss everything about my old life. I want more memories with my ex and can't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else. In my head I feel like I should try and make it work and to be happy again with the guy I work with but in my heart I don't want to be with him, I am attracted to him, but not so much to my ex. I want my family unit back but feel like it's gone to far. Please help because my brain is struggling to know what is the right thing to do for everyone. I've broke my ex's heart and he wants me back but what if it's just the memories I miss 💔
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Divorce/separation
I miss my old life
12 replies
pinyata32 · 05/05/2020 13:48
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