I apologise in advance because this post is going to be all over the place I really don’t know where to start. I’ve been married to my husband for 6 years. We’ve had 3 children daughter (5) son (4) and baby (10 months). I want to leave my husband but I don’t know where to start. My husband has never hit me but he scares the living shit out of me and is emotionally and financially abusive. He would do something wrong and when I expect an apology none would be given and in the end I’d be apologising some how. Financially I’ve got no money and am totally dependant on him. He’s the main breadwinner and makes quite a lot of money. I’m not allowed any money in my bank accounts even though I’ve asked him for an allowance a couple of times. He said if I want something I need to ask and we’ll look in to it. I look after our three children, I clean the house and cook different meals for lunch and dinner every day because he can’t eat the same thing twice in one week. I do all the shopping trips for groceries, school runs, doctor or dentist visits too. At some points of our marriage it used to be good but I realise now that is only because I kept my head down and my mouth shut to not make him upset or unhappy with me. I have always dealt with this type of behaviour from him and have completely lost myself and who I am. It’s my bad choice of marrying him that now my children have to suffer and I’ll have to live with that for the rest of my life. My children are starting to become scared of him. Last week he threw a water bottle at my son because my son was having a tantrum and he shouted at him so badly because he was crying. At that point something in me snapped and I shouted at him to leave my son alone. He didn’t like that one bit and proceeded to slam all the doors in our house. He threw out my mobile from our bedroom on to the floor and closed the door to show me not to come in to the room. Since last week I’ve hardly spoken to him and I’ve tried to talk to him today but his attitude has been disgusting. I said I want an apology for his behaviour and then we can go from there and he will not give me one. He said he sees where he stands with me now and that I need to carry on. Please if anyone out there can help me or give me advice I would be so grateful I don’t have any one else to turn to as I am totally isolated from any friends I once had and my family live abroad so I can’t ask them. Thank you.
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