My now ExH left me three Christmases ago for a woman he worked with - they are still together now. Our son was only 2 at the time. It was hell of course and all he wanted to do from the outset was sell our house and force my son and I to go and rent somewhere. We couldn't agree on a financial settlement via solicitors and because costs were racking up, we went to mediation. Once our individual financial situations were declared (including needs) he wasn't much better off than me (mainly due to a credit card debt he had incurred since he left 7 months previous). I couldn't afford to stay in the house and he didn't have enough surplus cash after needs (including housing) to help keep us there so reluctantly, I agreed to sell. I got a bigger percentage overall although it wasn't very much in terms of actual cash. At mediation, he said he would need circa £850 a month to rent a 2 bedroomed flat. Financial arrangements were tied up in a court order and as soon as the stamped document came back, ExH announced (1) that he was moving in with OW (she had a 4 bedroomed house) and (2) they were going to South Africa for two weeks on safari and staying in 5 star accommodation. My son and I ended up living in a small 2 bed flat temporarily after the house was sold as we had nowhere to go. I eventually bought a 2 bed flat (just scraped on a shared-ownership basis) and we have been living here a year. ExH is now on the mortgage with OW and they have recently had extensive building works done to extend their house and these took place while they were on holiday in Barbados!
He has our son two nights a week (sometimes three) and is a very good father, so I can't knock him there but I just feel so angry at how I was treated (like I was nothing) and although I try and see the positives to my life, I am increasingly becoming more angry with the situation and I just can't snap myself out of it. When we first met, he'd been bumming around Australia for a year and had no money. I was so besotted with him and he soon moved in and stupidly I supported him. I helped him with job applications, took out a mobile phone contract for him so he could gradually build up a good credit rating. What a mug was I?!!
How do I stop this anger eating away at me? Counselling I presume? Anyone else in a similar situation? Thank you for reading and Happy Boxing Day :-)
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Divorce/separation
Still angry three years on
18 replies
Legallybleachblonde · 26/12/2019 22:18
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