Out of the blue walkout from husband of 10 years back in Oct 2018.
We’ve since been co-parenting DD6 50/50. Just starting financial mediation and hope to reach an MOU within the next few weeks.
Our plan was to wait 2 years and then divorce by mutual consent. But to guarantee the financial agreement (consent order), we need to do a Deed of Separation (£££?) OR one of us file for divorce now on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour or adultery.
My view is that he should divorce me since; a) I never wanted this, b) I think he should pay for it, and c) I can’t be bothered leading on the admin. There was no adultery, so that leaves UB. STBXH is not keen on doing this as it’s far from his truth that ‘we just drifted apart (despite having issued me an exhaustive list of my unreasonableness a year ago. Now he seems to think that we can make the marriage dissolve in a shower of glitter and sparkles).
Receiving a shitty letter with a list of my UBs won’t be fun, but I’m OK with seeing it as a formality. Plus with the forthcoming abolition of the 2 year wait, I hear judges are being more lenient with letting through milder examples of UB.
The opposing point of view is that if I file, I can still apply for him to pay some of it if I use UB (mainly based on his walking out), and I retain control of the process.
I’m torn. Is there any risk I don’t know about to allowing him to divorce me rather than the other way around?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.
Divorce/separation
Separated a year. Who should file for divorce?
7 replies
cloudbusting42 · 24/11/2019 21:39
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.