Separate finances, inheritance and separation

[Keepcalmdoit]

DH and I married over 10 years, but have had separate finances more through habit than anything. Joint mortgage on property, with 400k equity. I have small pension pot, he has similar

He earns 2.5 times what I do, and pays for mortgage, council tax and electricity and holidays

I pay for food, children clothes, clubs, household expenses, insurances, cleaner etc, childcare. I have debit as my income never seems, enough. I'm also paying off a car.

A few years ago I received a small inheritance that we used to pay off some of a mortgage, house extension and a family car.

Couple of years ago, DH received an inheritance, 5 times the size. Some has paid off the mortgage, the rest is in his personal accounts. He seems to view it as his money, altho I did explain all mine went into the family pot.

Selling the house and splitting all this morning would allow me to buy another property and live with the children 50% of the time.

Any ideas how his inheritance would be treated under the law?

I have asked for some money to clear some credit card debit and towards the car. He has currently refused.

[millymollymoomoo]

As I understand it ( and I’m not a lawyer ) inheritance can be set ashes in divorce settlements if a fair settlement on a needs basis can be achieved without it. If that’s not possible it will be considered as part of the total marital pot and included in the division

Will depend on multiple factors which you’ll need to seek advice on

[LemonTT]

As the pp explained, it Is a complex matter dependent on lots of circumstances.

Your needs may override any intention either of you had to keep finances separate. It will all come out in the ongoing negotiations. No need to argue the toss over it now.

On the immediate issue of your credit card debt. Explain that you want to pay it off from savings so it’s does not accrue. Confirm that you can both keep a record of the payments he makes and agree how it can be treated later. Right now, neither of you need to risk it growing. He probably won’t agree but it’s worth a try.

[Keepcalmdoit]

We never intended to keep our finances separate, it's just now he's saying it's his inheritance and not ours as a family. I never even considered that with mine

[EggysMom]

Are you thinking of separating, divorcing?

Given that it's been a few years, I think it would all be considered 'marital' money and therefore fair game when working out a fair division. Just make sure you get hold of copies of the statements now to prove that he has the money as he may well try to hide it once you separate.

[Keepcalmdoit]

We have discussed separating.

He was suggesting we buy or rent a small flat for the person not with the kids during the week could live in.

He holds all the cards financially, I don't feel I could leave with debt and a lower income.

[RandomMess]

From I've read because he hasn't kept his inheritance entirely separate it is all considered marital asset. As ever you need professional legal advice.

[LemonTT]

Op, he can say all he wants to redefine marital and divorce law in his favour. Unless he is a qualified and impartial divorce lawyer, don’t accept what he has to say.

You both need qualified advice on what you will be entitled to as a consequence of the divorce. Where there are enough assets you will both be told to agree a clean break.

As I see it you are calling the money, family savings and he is calling it his inheritance. It’s useful to know what his opinion is. Acknowledge it and explain you think differently and need to get proper independent advice to settle the matter. You won’t settle it between you unless you have more than enough money to meet needs and wants.

Most sensible people do some form of mediation and use solicitors sparingly. Usually to just confirm they have got a decent settlement.

[HollyIvy89]

Doesn’t he have to have kept all the money separate and not touched it almost for it to be ‘his’. Not that I know. But sure I read something of sorts.

Surely it’s all within the marital pot. Be careful with him saying about buying a flat for one of you to live in. That sounds like he wants to control the situation.

I’d sit tight and seek legal advice ASAP and if you can begin to take photos of any statements you can get your hands on.

Your debt is joint isn’t it as you are married and you I will be able to show that what you have spent is for the family? Again I am not sure but I would assume so.

Sounds like with the equity in the house and you will be entitled to half his pension you’ll be doing ok financially. Just get that legal advice now before you make any decisions.

[Ss770640]

Inheritance is excluded from the marital pot as it wasn't earned during marriage.

Only profit loss from marriage is divided by two.

This is strict in Scotland but England favours premarital money.

As with all things depends on circumstance

[Ss770640]

In Scotland inheritance and gifts are expressly excluded from marital pot as it wasn't earned by the 'economic fruits of the parties to marriage'

Read family law act 1985 section10.6.b

There are some caveats attached. But rule of thumb, only what you earned during marriage is split equally.

[user1486131602]

My inheritance is being included in my divorce as it was used for the family while still married.
I suggest you ask a lawyer with specifics of your divorce.