Help!
I have a 2 year old and 4 year old with partner of 12 years. We have a mortgage together. Unmarried. No agreements or anything made when went into mortgage equally together 6 years ago but prior to that he owned a 1 bed house so essentially (in my mind) this house is more his than mine... not sure legally if it matters that he put more money in in the first place??
Basically living with him is hell. It's just getting worse and worse. He's nasty and a bully. I need for my own sanity to separate. He knows I want to but I think he's desparate to keep up appearances and is digging his heels in. I can't believe he actually cares for me anymore. He says I have to leave, he says he will not leave the house, he will not sell the house so that we can separate.
He works a 4.5 day week (inc. Sundays) with half a Tuesday off to be at home with kids while I work a half day, and he's at home on a Friday in order for me to work all day. My mum has the girls on half a Wednesday so I can work another half day. I basically work a 2 day week and rare weekends, but am lucky not to have to pay for childcare currently.
I was saving up 'get out' money but have just had to spend it all on a new car (in one way it's good news because I was driving a car that belonged to him and now this one will be my own).
So I now have no savings :(. Luckily our finances are pretty much separate. I earn about £1300 a month, I put £600 into a joint account for the mortgage and bills, which he then sorts out. If I left to rent anywhere then even a 1 bed studio flat round here is £600-700 pcm. I don't want to default on a mortgage so could just reduce my contribution to cover my half of the mortgage (about £370 a month)?
I will still have very little money and be stuck in a studio flat with two children.
How on earth am I going to leave when I can't afford to? Is there a way I can force a house sale? I'm totally screwed over by being the main caregiver for the children instead of being out at work, and can't justify childcare costs for 2 children. I just wish he would leave.
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Divorce/separation
How do I go about separating when he is digging his heels in?? And I don't think I can afford it??
3 replies
xcrazedndazedx · 30/08/2019 20:50
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