This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.Start using Mumsnet Premium
Should I leave the house?(7 Posts)
Hi , my husband and I are separating. We have 1 dependent child. He refuses to work even though he is fit, educated and able. I work full time. He has always been controlling about financial decisions (part of the reason we are separating). He is keen to have at least 50/50 access to my daughter - and takes her school most days. I am really struggling to live with him until the house sells - I find him really mean and manipulative and a bit of a bully - if it doesn't suit him then it doesn't happen. I wondered if I could rent somewhere until the house sells. Would this affect me having 50/50 custody of my daughter? I would obviously make sure the rental had a bedroom for my child. I'm willing to pay him some of the money for bills (only a teacher so it won't go far tho) and hoping that he will get a job to pay the mortgage and bills for our house. Has anyone done this??
Personally I wouldn’t leave until you get the finances sorted otherwise there is no incentive to do so and he’ll stall even more. Have you both instructed solicitors already and got the ball rolling ?
I wouldn't leave either. He can refuse to go ahead with the sale and remain in the house with your daughter, and you'll be left in rentals.
THanks for your responses x
Can he refuse to sell then? He doesnt want solicitors involved as he thinks they will cost too much. He wants to do a wikidiorce (online). Its on the market but its taking so long to sell. My sanity though is becoming more important than the money. When you say he could remain in the house with my daughter - surely he couldnt stop me having her 50% at mine?
Canary. I'd like to know this too. Can he refuse to sell.
It doesn't seem reasonable if you both own it. Especially if your daughter is with you
Custody is a separate arrangement to selling the house, so the 50:50 or whatever you decide is separate. He could just refuse to sign the exchange documents and stay in the house, especially if he has no where else to go or the split of equity will not be enough to get his own place. I'd go through proper solicitors and stay put until sold.
Well he could argue that as he doesn’t work he’s therefore primary career and you need to leave. He could argue for spousal maintenance too and to retain house with mesher order.
All of these are ‘coulds’ Rather than necessarily will.
You should in my opinion seek legal advice and take guidance from solicitor. If you can remain fairly amicable you can keep costs down
I still think you’d be unwise to leave the house
Please login first.