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(5 Posts)
Sasha125 Tue 29-Jan-19 14:43:51

Hello, please can someone advice, I’m heartbroken, my 12 year son decided he wants to live with dad & older brothers... I left in 2017 with my 12 year old to a refuge as it was unbearable living at home, domestic violence towards me & mental abuse which I think it’s much worse... I left 3 adult sons with dad. We had final (5th) court hearing last year, which resulted in 75/25 in my favour, As I was primary carer for my son. Ex wasn’t happy saying to judge he’ll try to get 12 year old too so all 4 sons can live with him in the house... We own another property in cyprus which my husband wasn’t happy me telling court about, he said few years ago that if I told court , he’ll make sure this situation don’t end even in 5 years... I declared everything including him working at cafe for 8 years,(eX told judge he never got paid), also his ice cream buisiness van he has (ex declared he only earns £12,000 a year), which I know it’s lie, but can’t prove, as it’s all cash in hand, I didn’t want nothing from his buisiness as its his living.. he also told the judge he’ll transfer his car to me, but since found out from police that it was transferred to someone else since January 2018, and court was in August! He’s a manipulative horrible controlling person, I’m heartbroken as how the kids can’t see it... what I want to know is can the court order be changed now the 12 went to live with him? Sorry long post, I’m angry upset feeling heartbroken

OP’s posts: |
Sasha125 Tue 29-Jan-19 15:26:24

Sorry forgot to mention, Cyprus house I left to him, so when our sons go to visit, they’ll have a place to live in,( although wasn’t worth it as ex wouldn’t go to sell that house anyway as there’s half yet to pay,), the uk house is a 3 bed, with 4 adults and 1 minor child.would court allow them to stay there?, I’m also worried he’ll come after me with maintenance for the 12 year old... I’ve reported him to csa for maintenance , he never paid nothing.....

OP’s posts: |
WetWipesGoInTheBin Tue 29-Jan-19 18:59:37

OP sorry to have to break this to you but it is about what your son wants and his interests not about what you or his father wants. If his father is not a risk to him then he can choose to live mainly with either of you. Unfortunately for you he has chosen to live mainly with his dad.

You need to grit your teeth, smile and make arrangements with your son so he can pop back, see you and stay over with you regularly. If you do this then your son will make an effort to see you. If you fight with his dad over this then he will
end up resenting you and stay away.

In regards to your marital finances that it is a separate issue from your child arrangements.

MissedTheBoatAgain Wed 30-Jan-19 01:48:56

My 12 year old son wants to live with his Grandparents. Not sure how that would work Legally?

m0vinf0rward Wed 30-Jan-19 15:45:26

Guess what, if your son wants to live with his dad and brothers he should.

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