I think my marriage is over. He is emotionally abusive to me and we argue or ignore each other most days. We have 2 DC (5yrs and 8 mth). I am not sure where to start really with what I need to have in hand before I ask him to leave. Apologies in advance this is a ramble as I think of things....
The mortgage is in my name, but we both contribute 5050 to it and have done since it was purchased. We are married too so it is obviously his marital home. No idea how this is resolved? Would I have to sell up and give him cash? What about the DC’s home? I think he would agree we need to split but he will say why should he be the one to go and that I should move in with a mate. But I need to care for the DC (see next bit).
In terms of custody, I work part time and care for the DC on my days off. He works FT mon-fri. He does help with childcare runs and weekends but I would be fighting to keep them in their home in their own beds if at all possible. In my head I’m happy for him to maybe have them 1 overnight and every other weekend but I have no idea how to even start the discussion on that. I guess it depends on where he lives - if I kept the house he would be in rented and on his income he wouldn’t afford a 2 bed place.
Money. I earn significantly more than him. I am worried that he will claim against my pension which isn’t much but more than his. Also worried as all the household bills, credit cards etc are solely in my name not even joint names as he had bad credit rating. So I worry he’ll feign ignorance and say none of it is his liability. Savings from the monthly income are in my ISA but I guess he could claim half of that?
I know I need legal advice and am taking steps to do so.
But I guess before I take the leap what do I need to have sorted?
I’m worried he’ll ask me to move out instead of him going (even though I do the lions share of childcare and it’s be a huge upheaval for the DC to move) so maybe some savings tucked away of my own for rental deposit etc?
Any tips for a very scared newbie to all this?
I’ve been bumbling along with him since before DC2 was conceived but the EA is ridiculous now and I dread the weekends as I just don’t like being around him. Something has to give.
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Divorce/separation
Planning to leave DH. What do I need to prepare in advance?
9 replies
JammyC · 13/01/2019 21:30
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