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Splitting up but not married

(9 Posts)
Howdoyoudoit31 Mon 22-Oct-18 19:22:53

Been together 10 years, not married.

2 children together. 7 & 5. The 5 year old has severe SEN.

No savings so that’s not a problem.

We have a house in joint names though.

The house has approx 80-90k equity.

Just to make it easy. Mortgage on the house is 110k with the 90k equity.

I want to keep the house and stay here with the 2 children as our son is at a special needs school that is brilliant and our daughter also goes to a good local school.

Iv did benefit calculators along with my wages and I can afford to pay all the bills and the mortgage without him.

So how does it work? Do I have to pay him half the equity straight away ? Can he MAKE me sell the house even if I can remortgage and pay him out ? Can I have something written to say I owe him 50% of the equity at today’s value (45k) and pay it when the children are 18? (Unless I sell before)
Am I entitled to have slightly more equity as I will have main residence of the children say 60% me, 40% him? Or 55,45?

I have an appointment with a solicitor Friday but I thought I would ask here to see if anyone else has been through something very similar ...

Thank you!

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Howdoyoudoit31 Mon 22-Oct-18 19:23:24

We were engaged, just never got round to actually getting married.

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Howdoyoudoit31 Mon 22-Oct-18 20:49:55


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Everytimeref Mon 22-Oct-18 20:57:07

As your not married , the house split will have to be 50/50. It might be able to postpone this until your youngest child is 18 through the children act but you will need a solicitor to deal with and it can be expensive.

Howdoyoudoit31 Tue 23-Oct-18 07:07:37

Thanks. That could work if I couldn’t get the extra mortgage for the full amount.
Retain an extra 10% which on 80k is 8k and give it to him when there 18

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NorthernSpirit Tue 23-Oct-18 13:02:50

As you weren’t married you don’t have the same rights as a married woman.

When you bought the house how did you specify the ownership? It would normally be 50:50. If that’s the case you are both entitled to 50% of the equity after fees (so say £45k each). As you aren’t married you aren’t entitled to a larger split unless you set this up when you purchased or your EP agrees to give you more.

If you want to stay in the house you would need to buy your EP out (circa £45k). Yes, you would have to pay him straight away (unless you can appeal to his better nature and agree to a deferred payment but he doesn’t have to agree to this).

Only some lenders take child maintenance and benefits into account for their lending criteria.

Lichtie Tue 23-Oct-18 13:10:18

Being able to afford it and getting bank to put a mortgage solely in your name are two different things unfortunately under the new lending rules.
Has he said what he wants? I assume he will need a deposit for his own house?

SillySallySingsSongs Tue 23-Oct-18 13:11:50

You need proper legal advice. You arent married which makes a big difference in what you are entitled to.

Howdoyoudoit31 Tue 23-Oct-18 18:35:02

He wants his share of the equity so he can put a deposit down on a place and I honestly agree that’s the same thing.

I have a family memeber willing to give me 20k which I can give him straight away and will only need to remortgage for 20-25k which should be doable if I go with a provider that will take benefits into account.

If not Iv spoke to my parents today who own there house outright and my mum works full time. She is willing to come onto the mortgage just to make up the difference.

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