Hi I'm feeling really down tonight so please bare with me. Basically I'm 21 years old with an almost 3 year old and I just feel so alone. When I was 17 I met what I thought was the love of my life, the relationship was very intense and we rushed into an engagement and baby. I do not regret my daughter at all, she's the light of my life but I now know that having a baby so young wasn't the right decision for us. We ended up splitting just over 2 years ago and most days I hate him. He's put me and my daughter through hell since we split and he's a shit dad when it all boils down to it. However, when I'm alone at night in my little flat and my daughter is asleep I can't help but feel this awful bout of loneliness, like I need him. I don't understand how my feelings are still so strong after basically no contact for 2 years. He has a new girlfriend and when I picture them together it's like a punch in the stomach, I still feel like I did when we were together, maybe even more! We had such a good relationship at the beginning, he's the only person who ever really understood me and could make me laugh better than anyone. He's done things I should hate him for but I just can't and I really do try! My friends hate him and when they say anything negative about him it makes me sad for him like he doesn't deserve to be talked about like that but I know he does. I know I'm being silly because I know full well he doesn't give a crap about me, but why can't I just get over him! It frustrates me because I feel like I'll forever be trying to find him in other people, in my eyes no one will ever be as good as him and it makes me feel so low knowing that we can never go back to being how we were. I'm still in love with him and I've never admitted that since the split, I still cry about him often. I guess I just want to know if anyone has been in my situation and does it get easier? People told me when we first split 'it gets easier, soon you won't hurt this much' but it's been 2 bloody years and it still feels so raw, I'm so drained with loving someone who doesn't want me. The memories are the worst, I just wish I could turn back time
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.
Divorce/separation
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.