I know my marriage is over but .......

[teenagerparent]

I know my marriage is over and after his cheating. lies and deceit I'm glad but I still felt sick today when I received a letter from his solicitor saying he's filing for divorce on MY unreasonable behaviour! No reasons yet but I'm guessing its because there is no other reason for him to file and I hadn't done it yet. Is it normal to feel like this even though I don't want to be married? Dreading the whole divorce bit too.

[MissedTheBoatAgain]

To OP

Unreasonable behaviour is the most common ground people cite when filing for Divorce as it can be almost anything.

If you are both sensible and upfront a divorce does not need to be a difficult and expensive exercise. However, if one, or both, make it a "I must win" contest it could drag on for a long time at huge cost.

Have you appointed a Solicitor yet?

[Seniorschoolmum]

Op, that must feel like a kick in the teeth for you but I guess he can’t cite his own unreasonable behaviour, so it really is just a form
FWIW, yes I think that’s a pretty normal reaction. Something you went into with optimism and excitement didn’t work, of course it feels horrible.
If your stbx can behave decently for the duration of the divorce, it needn’t be too bad and you’ll have your life back in the new year.

[MissedTheBoatAgain]

he can’t cite his own unreasonable behaviour

Correct. The partner filing for Divorce has to cite a ground that they consider the other to be guilty. Sadly UK requires one to blame the other. Some Countries allow Divorce on mutual consent or irreconcilable differences without blame on either.

If your stbx can behave decently for the duration of the divorce, it needn’t be too bad and you’ll have your life back in the new year

I agree. Get it over quickly and quietly and move on.