Moving to a different city after separation and custody

[Bearfam]

Hello this is my first time posting I would really appreciate some advice to be able to support my best friend regarding her living situation after a break up. I’m asking for her because I don’t think she would post herself, she is really busy looking after her child and is just feeling awful.

She has one child age 6, her relationship with the child’s father ended about three weeks ago. The relationship was around 2 months in when she got pregnant so they’ve been together around 7 years. It hadn’t been working for a long time and from what she has told me some of his behaviours seem abusive such as eroding her confidence and being controlling. She currently lives with her partner and child (him in the spare room for now) in a house owned by his family, which they pay rent on. He wants her to move out and rent a flat nearby so he can have 50/50 custody of their child. She is a stay at home mum he works long unpredictable hours. I think it would be identifying to say his profession. While they were together he didn’t take part in family life much, she tried working but he was so unreliable with being home when he said he would be that she had to give up her job.

She has no family where they live and it is very expensive. Without help from his family they would struggle to rent a place for her as they don’t have the deposit etc. (This hasn’t been offered but may be) She is considering moving back to her home city where she has family and house prices are much cheaper. In the short term she could stay with family until she rents a place. This would be much more affordable there. In addition, because of family support with childcare and lower living cost she would be in a much better financial position longer term when she starts working, as in her income could cover her expenses, she would have to earn a pretty high salary to have that happen where they live now. Her mental health has suffered in this relationship; she is doing well looking after her child despite this however she now could really do with family support as she is very isolated. She feels it would be better for her child as they could afford a decent size home rather than a tiny flat and have money to have some kind of life.

However, the child’s father will not consider her moving away. It would be around 3 hours by train/ 250 miles. As he wants to have the child stay exactly half of the week. Rather than some weekends and holidays which is probably more likely what it would be like if she moved. Due to his work he wouldn’t be able to actually look after the child himself for that time he plans to get his mum to help, use childcare and friends. She asked to try out a 50% week while they are still living in the same home to see how it worked. He said that would be inconvenient with work but when the time came to share residency he would make it work.

I suppose my questions are: Can the father demand the child has exactly 50% residency even though while in the relationship he wasn’t around much.

Can he demand that she stays where they live now despite the potential financial hardship and reduced opportunities for her to be independent in future?

Where can she go for some informed advice possibly legal advice?

[rosynoses]

Tell her to move, the sooner the better. Technically she needs his permission and whilst he may go for a prohibited steps order to stop her, if she already has moved it's harder for the court to order her back. And the longer she is there (after the move) and more settled the child is with nursery/school/routine the harder it is for the court to order them back. She needs to do what is best for her and the child. (I had to do similar)