When to tell dd

[Borris]

Can I ask for some advice please.

I'm separating from my EA H. Initially it was him that suggested splitting, but when I finally agreed on the 4th or 5th time he has changed his mind.

Therefore what I thought would be amicable is now acrimonious. In fact I suspect he only threatened separation thinking it would frighten me into complying to save the marriage.

I'm getting keys for my rental next week which he's not happy about. It'll take a couple of weeks for me to have it furnished and ready to move in.

I thought we'd be better giving dd age 7 as much time as possible getting used to the idea, poss involved in choosing bedroom stuff etc.

H things we should wait until I have it set up like a home and can take her to visit etc. As then she'll know facts rather than worrying about what it might be like.

But I'm not sure whether this is springing it on her rather than giving her time to process.

What have others done/think about this?

[user1481316801]

Hi there
I'm in a similar situation with a much younger dd (2) her dad isn't living with us any more and I'm struggling to tell her what's happened, she misses him as much as I do so it won't be easy. I think possibly your dd might process it better and ask less questions so you might be right to ease her in certainly if there is no going back.
Good luck xx

[FlippingFoal]

How come you are leaving the family home? If you can afford to stay then do so for continuity for your daughter. If you have sacrificed your career to further his you will be entitled to a larger proportion of that asset.

[Borris]

I'm leaving as i want to. The family home was bought as a project and nothing is done. So we have no heating, a damp house with mould/mildew. Plus he's a borderline hoarder so full of his Crap which i can't throw out.

Plus the house was near to his job but he got made redundant. School and my job is 30 mins away.

Rental is far nearer to both. Plus dd will be able to have friends round after school.