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Separating from husband - practicalities

(2 Posts)
SpringerLink Wed 21-Feb-18 10:23:34

After months of waiting, and since agreeing to move out in November, my husband finally agreed last night to actually start to take steps to move out.

He has agreed to see a couples cousellor to halp with the split and to make it as easy for the DC has possible - but he has siad he needs to choose the counsellor. The thing is, he is very disorganised, so this could take a while. Is it reasonable to put a time limit on it? A month, a week??

I'm pretty sure that he will end up wanting limited contact with the DC as he isn't very good with them and doesn't seem to really enjoy being with them or having to parent. He's happy to have fun with them, if it's all organised thought. Is it OK for me to suggest every other weekend, or is that too little for children to see thier Dad? They are 8, 6 and 4 (and 8yo has SN, which husband can't really cope with that well).

Housing near us is super expensive, so renting somewhere big enough for the DC to stay overnight might be prohibitive. Do I offer to help him pay for something big enough, or should he try to find somewhere he can afford even if it is 1 bed?

Should I consult with a Family Lawyer now, even if separation is in theory a trial? Or is that a mental commitment to divorce being inevitable?

And arragements from here on, is it OK to follow up conversations with an email to confirm details and put everything in writing even if I know that will antaginise my husband. One thing he really hates is having to comit to something and be held accountable for his choices.

Any advice from someone who has been here and out the other side (divorced of back together) would be great!

Thanks.

OP’s posts: |
MarieG10 Wed 21-Feb-18 16:59:16

Contact is what you both think reasonable and if you can't agree then a court will decide. Divorced people I know usually do every other weekend and a night or so during the week.

Re finances and housing....it is so complex and messy you will need some advice. The principal is that the children need to be provided for but that can mean a multiple of things with houses

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