I posted a few times about trying to decide whether to go through with divorce. Marriage not been good for 10 years now, then found out 8 months ago that he'd been having an affair for a year. I actually felt some relief that I had a reason to explain the coldness and the hostility and an 'acceptable' reason to throw in the towel.
Got my decree nisi in the autumn. And then I ran out of energy and came to a full stop, put it on hold over christmas and just can't get started again. Can't get the energy to get on with the mortgage and the solicitors and handling all the parents etc., and with actually getting him to leave the house. He's being very sorry and being nice again the way he hasn't been for years. Most of all I just can't stand the thought of doing this to the kids. It would be so easy to sink back into a vaguely amicable sexless marriage but part of me is horrified at the thought.
I feel worse now than when I found out. I'm so angry with him, but mostly I just hate myself because I can't make a decision. I can't trust my own judgement. I can't believe how weak I am. I'm irritable with everyone and I just want to sleep and for someone else to decide. I look at myself and I'm scared there's no one there.
I thought I was a better, stronger person than this.
Did anyone else go through a long period of indecision, and how did you get out of it? Please someone tell me that this is normal and that at some point my head will clear!
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Divorce/separation
Still on the fence. Think there's something wrong with me
5 replies
mugginsalert · 12/02/2018 22:57
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