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Do you tell your divorced co-parent if going abroad?

(3 Posts)
MrsMcGarry Fri 02-Feb-18 21:45:32

Have been separated for one year, divorce/shared childcare all organised relatively amicably. I was sahm, now work but flexible part time, ex-h semi retired. kids now 13 and 15, they see him every Thursday after school and EOW but he still has tendency to see me as default parent - responsible for all sick days, docs appointments etc. but we have had words about this on many occasions and agreed that we are responsible for kids until school pick up on day after they've been with us (though we've both been flexible - me more so than him)

He had kids last night and took them to school this am (ds on crutches atm so couldn't walk). He then flew to France with his new gfriend. I only found out about this when I picked kids up from activities this evening. he will be returning on Thursday afternoon a couple of hours before kids get home from school to him

Is it unreasonable for me to ask him to inform me if he's going to be out of the country and therefore not able to cover child related emergencies or potentially be delayed in taking up his parenting duties? I have so far always told him when I've been away, and will continue to do so. I'm not expecting to know where hes going, or who with, but I don't think its hugely controlling to ask that I know if hes going to be more than a few hours away from his kids in case of emergency.

OP’s posts: |
Poshindevon Fri 02-Feb-18 23:19:55

You are being perfectly reasonable to want to know if your exhusband is going abroad and will be unavailable or even not contactable.
Make a simple request that if he goes abroad you are informed of the location and dates he will be absent and how he is to be contacted in an emergency.

TwentySmackeroos Fri 02-Feb-18 23:31:59

This is something I expect of my ex, but he doesn't do so. His view is he is either rostered 'on' or 'off.' He goes as he pleases and I usually just find out when the kids get tshirts and key rings from wherever he has been.

I always tell, thinking I am modelling good behaviour, but I always kick myself for doing so because I am sharing information about my free time and giving up a tiny bit of my privacy and independence doing so.

I now expect nothing from him. I ended up in the ER a few months ago, rang a friend, and she came round to sleep over with the kids as she knew from Facebook he was on a driving holiday in the Algarve confused

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