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Can he actually ask for that?

(24 Posts)
Sukistjames Sat 13-Jan-18 14:30:32

Had some super advice from Mumsnet regarding my separation before so I thought I'd ask you wise lot about this.

Brief background- been separated from STBXH since 11/2016. 2DC 10 and 3. I work PT as many mums logically do with small children.

We are currently going through the financial disclosure part of the legal process that is divorce and him and his solicitor have requested that I provide 'my up to date CV and information of all of the jobs I've applied for along with an explanation of why I've decided to work less hours over recent years'.

Can he ask for this and do I have to provide it? I'm PT to fit around my children. I love my job, it's term time only and I have no plans to apply for others.

lunar1 Sat 13-Jan-18 14:32:28

No idea if you have to provide this information but it sounds like cheeky fuckery to me! Who does he thinks looks after his children confused

Graphista Sat 13-Jan-18 14:33:42

Check with lawyer but sounds dodgy to me - I didn't have to do this with my divorce.

Sukistjames Sat 13-Jan-18 14:34:32

Thank you for replying smile
Yes, he is indeed a CF! He did me a favour by leaving for OW!

AthenaAshton Sat 13-Jan-18 14:35:05

He can ask, but you don't have to provide. Given that one of your DC is only three, he'd be on a losing wicket anyway IME, and it would just be money wasted on solicitors.

Sukistjames Sat 13-Jan-18 14:36:06

Thanks, I'll check with my solicitor.

TittyGolightly Sat 13-Jan-18 14:36:20

He’s trying to get a case together that you should be working full time and are choosing not to. Probably so that he can hang on to more of his pension.

AnneLovesGilbert Sat 13-Jan-18 14:39:34

Are you making a claim for spousal maintenance? That might be why he’s trying to prove you could have more of your own income.

If not, just ignore the request or say no.

Secretsout Sat 13-Jan-18 15:39:30

Similar happened with my divorce. I have a professional qualification but had left that profession to set up my own business in a different field.

The business was in its infancy and wasn’t providing me with an income.

I was told by EX’s solicitor to go back to my original profession as I had no excuse not to earn. They (him and his solicitor) even went as far as to search for jobs in my field of work and told me to apply for them!

AnneLovesGilbert Sat 13-Jan-18 15:50:15

What happened secret?

thethoughtfox Sat 13-Jan-18 16:32:57

He can ask for any insane he wants and his solicitors will happily charge him for those letters. It doesn't mean you have to provide it.

BattleCuntGalactica Sat 13-Jan-18 16:37:59

Fuck no. He's chancing that.

MrsBertBibby Sat 13-Jan-18 17:41:31

Have either of you applied to the court for financial remedies, or is this voluntary forms E?

Secretsout Sat 13-Jan-18 20:41:33

anne I really didn't have a choice so I went back to my old profession. He was so financially controlling he restricted my access to our joint funds and refused to let me use any of 'his' money to pay for anything including my legal costs. In a way it did me a favour. I declared the new business income as zero and I went back to the old profession part time as that was all they could offer me at the time. He has to pay spousal maintenance to top up my income, not that he's paying any of it but that's another story altogether.

MrsMummy500 Sat 13-Jan-18 23:26:30

I think they can ask to see a CV. But your lawyer should be able to dodge the application for jobs question by explaining that given you have two young children you firmly believe that it is not in the best interests of your kids to have you work full time.

Depends on earning capacity and previous FT work history obvs. But it's prefectly defendable to expect that you would only work FT currently. Be reasonable and perhaps explain that FT work may be sought in the fullness of time, but currently it serves neither your children nor your finanical state to go back FT.

MrsMummy500 Sat 13-Jan-18 23:27:36

perfectly defendable that you would only work *PT****

RockPaperCut Sun 14-Jan-18 04:21:37

Secret I would have told them to kindly FOTFSOF. Same here restricted access to marital funds so I’ve had to apply for a Novitas Loan. Meanwhile the marital savings have all but gone and he’s currently running up nearly 100k in legal fees.

Yes I had this too! Just be reasonable humour him. You’re not under any obligation to go back FT unless it suits you.

Sukistjames Sun 14-Jan-18 11:11:10

I would really struggle FT in my profession. It's highly stressful and the last time I was FT I almost had a breakdownsad

Sukistjames Sun 14-Jan-18 11:11:48

Anne my solicitor and I haven't decided if I'm requesting spousal maintenance yet

Sukistjames Sun 14-Jan-18 11:12:58

Secrets that's absolutely awful. What a bastard!

MrsBert we haven't had anything to do with court yet. This is just financial disclosure

Sukistjames Sun 14-Jan-18 11:15:34

Mrsmummy you put my thoughts into words very well. I'll humour him. He seems quite delusional about the whole thing. Probably because he's been living a fairytale with the OW since he left hmm

MrsBertBibby Sun 14-Jan-18 13:04:55

If there's no court proceedings, then It's up to your solicitor to advise about answering.

It's a fairly common question to ask non working or pt working spouses, although I am never sure how useful the answer is. Not many judges would find pushing a carer for preschoolers into ft working attractive, especially given that it rarely increases income, after taking into account childcare costs increases, and tax credit reductions.

MrsBertBibby Sun 14-Jan-18 13:05:53

Don't forget to mention your better employment rights if you have been in your current job for any length of time.

MrsMummy500 Sun 14-Jan-18 13:35:58

Sukistjames yes, this is what happened to me. Given that i stopped work to raise the children at our mutual behest, it was amusing that he tried to force me back to work. However at the FDR, the judge said that given my professional qualifications I would be expeteced to generate income at some point. There is certainly a swerve to expect this more than say even 3 years ago. I think it's fair really. Luckily I was only after a clean break 50/50 so it didn't effect the maintenance.

Remember that if you do return to work eventually he could apply to vary the amount of spousal maintenance, so make sure it's worth it for you both emotionally and financially.

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